Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshots/ Headcannons

Using Dirty Pick Up Lines On Them

Pairings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Atsushi, Chuuya, Sigma, and Tecchou

❗Warnings❗slapping, kissing, blushing, dirty talk, teasing, and etc

🖤DAZAI🖤

You were bored as hell at the ADA office. You were figuring out what you should do to cure your boredom. Everybody was pretty much out of the office since they were busy with a mission.

You thought long and hard when suddenly a mischievous idea popped up in your pretty little head.

You looked at your boyfriend, who was sleeping on his desk when he should be working, and smirked. You got up and wrapped your arms around him, waking him up.

"Hm? Does my bella need something?" He asked with a tired smile

He then gasped and smirked with sparkling eyes "you wanna ditch work?"

You chuckled "as nice as that sounds, I'm going to have to decline. I'm sorry babe"

He pouted, but then you said "I just wanted to say something to you"

His face spoke curiosity "and what's that?" You leaned in his ear with a smirk and whispered

"Are you a racehorse? Because if I rode you you'll definitely finish first"You leaned back to see his face.

You saw that he was blushing with wide eyes. He was taken aback since he wasn't expecting you to use a dirty pick up line, but then he smirked and then smiled innocently.

He grabbed your chin gently and in a deep voice said "Are you a haunted house? Because I'm going to scream when I'm inside of you"

Your eyes widened a bit. You also blushed. You weren't expecting him to say a pick up line back to you, but little did you know that he wasn't done.

He chuckled "You can't spell menu with without m-e-n-u bc it's only us that will be on the table tonight"

Regardless of your dazed reaction he kept going "Can you do telekinesis? Because you made a part of me move without even touching it"

You finally found your words "D-Dazai-!"

He laughs and still continues to play this game of teasing you. What were you expecting? If your gonna tease him he's gonna play your game too, but he'll make sure to win.

He whispers in your ear again "Let's play titanic you'll be the iceberg and I'll go down"

Will this game ever end? You think as your face was a blushing mess

He kissed your cheek with a chuckle "I ran out of pick up lines so I'll pick u up at 9"

You then rolled your eyes with blushed cheeks. You were a little annoyed that he played your game better than you "ok we get it, you win with the pick up lines"

You slightly push him away, but he gets up and holds you by the waist, bringing your body towards his, looking directly into your eyes with a lazy look.

"Don't think I didn't mean everything I just said because I one hundred percent do. Just wait for tonight my Belladonna~"

💚RANPO💚

You and Ranpo went out to go get ice cream after solving an investigation. After getting your ice cream, you both went to sit down on a bench that showed a perfect view of the sunset, it was a gorgeous view and being with your cute boyfriend made it even better.

You were both sitting in silence just taking in the view and taste of the ice cream, but suddenly you remembered about this one pick up line that said something about sunsets. You smirked and thought 'why not tease my boyfriend?'