More of my bullshit

Untitled Part 2

What kind of fucked up rainbow am I? The question we've all probably asked at one point. 

Well, I recently discovered many things about myself, such as, I am not entirely attached to being a girl, I do kind of like boys, and many many things

So, without further ado, join me in discovering exactly what I am. 

First let's start with gender, I am female, biologically and mentally. But I do not feel feminine in the ways everyone else does. and that could be partly because I don't agree with female body standards and all the hot as shit models were told we need to be like. I have always felt a non-sexual and non-romantic attachment to boys and I'm pretty sure its because something about them resonates deep within me. Recently, I discovered I am probably partly non-binary, weather it be demigirl, or non-binary I have no idea. But I do use they/them pronouns along with my she/her. 

You may have noticed I have used three different names so far. I used Dandelion in my name, Charlie in my profile and Ace in the last chapter. 

Charlie is derived form my name. Dandelion was a nicknames given to me by a very close friend, and Ace is my name of choice. I go by any and all of these. I will not take offence to anybody calling me any of these names. 

Now, on to my sexuality. It all started in the 5th grade, sweet, innocent, demon spawn me. Who harrassed and assaulted her peers for fun. What a bitch. I found myself friends with three different lesbians, who taught me the basicest terms of the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. Literally the first two. Up until now I knew barely any of those letters. But now I know. So anyway, I developed very bad crush on one of my closest friends. (we've all been there) an that freaked me out so much. 

Come grade six I knew I liked girls and I didn't know what the fuck to do about it. At this point I believe I was bi. I remained bi for that year.

Grade 7 is when it really becomes tricky. The year started with me still bi. I had no attraction to any boys my age so I thought I just wasn't attracted to them at all. Turns out middle school boys are just ugly as fuck. (no offense) Then I learned so many new terms in a very short period of time and that confused little old me. I discovered Omnisexual and bi romantic. Which is what I was for a while.

And now this year, I started a lesbian, because I'm cool like that. I soon realized that I was attracted to men and the idea of them, just not the ones i see, day in, day out. But I have a very bad habit of almost internalized homophobia. Whenever I thought anything like "he is attractive" I immediately scolded myself and got mad because "you're a lesbian, lesbians cant feel that" and that may be true, but if you think that, you're not a lesbian. Now, I've come basically full circle and I'm omni-sexual and ace. (asexual) 

With love, Ace <3