A Man, a Girl, a Deserted Island - - A Crazy Epic Love Saga

Episode 6: I'm a serial rapist!

Good Lord, these suitcases are terribly heavy! Sweat is pouring out of every pore.

All the vodka I've drunk is descending from my head to my knees. I'm trying not to collapse until we get to the front desk.

Finally, the formalities go quickly. We reach the room, and I slump into a chair like a rag. I quietly await my death. Mission accomplished.

"You seem a bit soft," she observes. "What's wrong? Why are you panting like that?"

"I'm not used to physical exercise," I hiss, throwing her a murderous glance.

"Come on, I'll make it up to you. I saw a coffee machine in the hallway. Want some?"

We drink our coffees in silence. Too much silence. I feel that the atmosphere in the room is a bit tense, and suddenly I understand that I am the cause.

"Come on, stop looking so worried," I finally say. "I'm harmless. I promise to finish my coffee and leave."

"Don't talk nonsense," she replies, visibly relieved. "Actually, what's the matter with you? Explain before you leave."

I briefly tell her how I spent the last 24 hours.

"So, in other words," she concludes.

"Exactly. It seems that the bartenders, hoteliers, and taxi drivers in this city are conspiring against me. And on top of that, I'm behind on sleep. I'll probably fall asleep here, with my coffee in hand, in this chair. Oh well, don't make that face! I was joking. Don't you have a sense of humor?"

"No, you weren't joking."

"Mmm... okay, I wasn't joking. I was just trying to see your reaction. We could have split the room in half. But now it's too late. I've changed my mind."

"I'm perfectly capable of paying for my own room," she says irritably.

"And so am I," I retort. "I'm stronger than you. I can even pay for two rooms. I have sixty thousand dollars."

"Sure," she says with a bored expression. "Sixty thousand legs in your ass. Make sure you believe yourself."

"Uh... believe what you want. I don't have any more energy."

"Fine, I believe you. You're an eccentric millionaire who spends his time in airports trying to pick up helpless women."

"Is that how it seems? That I tried to pick you up?"

"Of course. You follow me, carry my suitcases, want to split the hotel room in half."

"No, it's not like that at all. Not at all!"

"Yes, it is," she says, giggling. "Remember? You told me I was special. And for the past hour, you've been staring at me."

"Me? Ha, what a pathetic joke! I stare at you?"

"Yes, you. In the airport, outside smoking, and here. You're almost jumping on me. But, I warn you," she suddenly adds with a serious face, "these Don Juan tricks won't work with me. I'm not what you think."

We remain eye to eye. Seconds pass. Either I'm an idiot, or I've met the most paranoid woman in town.

"Fine, dear. I'm a serial rapist. You caught me. Congratulations!"

I crush the half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray with disdain, then I stand up and leave without looking at her. What a fool! Damn fool! She thinks I'm "staring at her"!

I wait for the damned elevator and keep waiting. Finally, I give up pressing the button. Fury buzzes in my head like a beetle, then the buzz fades away and I start laughing like an idiot at the ridiculousness of the situation. What the hell do I want from this woman? Am I going crazy? Are there no more rooms in this hotel?

Damn it! I'll take the stairs. Where are they? I'll go down the stairs.

"Are you over it, buddy? It's here." She's right beside me. "But I know your temper flares up quickly! "She takes me by the arm and brings me back to the room. "If I upset you, sorry," she continues in an indifferent tone. "And don't be so gloomy. The truth is, I don't know anyone in this city, and I'm a bit afraid of situations like 'Let's split the room in half!' We started our friendship on the wrong foot. You're a bit of a jerk, but I still recognize that you have an honest face, not that of a suitcase kicker."

"And not that of a serial rapist?" I ask teasingly.

"Neither. So I'll accept your proposal. Let's split the room."

"I'm glad," I say coldly.

"Me too. You can take the half of the bed near the door. It's drafty there. But I have one condition."

"What's that?"

She smiles half-heartedly and points to the bathroom door.

"Take a shower."

"Why?"

"Because you stink."

I love it when women beat around the bush, so I shrug resignedly and head to the bathroom.