A Man, a Girl, a Deserted Island - - A Crazy Epic Love Saga

Episode 22: Tears are Siblings to Laughter

I cast a lost glance around.

I don't understand anything from this whole cluster of clocks and dials on the flight deck. I only recognize the altitude indicator and the airspeed one. I'm relieved to see that they consistently display the same numbers. That means one thing: the autopilot is doing its job.

I strain my ears and listen carefully. The right engine purrs quite evenly. The left one is just as quiet. But for how long? Probably until the fuel runs out! After that...

Dust has settled on my dreams. Marriage in Malaysia? Ha! I should be thankful if I make it down in one piece!

My life is over. I'm just a dead man still breathing and moving.

It's clear to me: I'm as dead as Jean-Louis lying here on the floor.

"Ah, you wretch," I whisper. "You've doomed me. You've doomed us all! You should've eaten and spoken separately, shouldn't you, you big idiot?! Speak! But speak already, damn it! Tell me once more that 'I'm safe' with you! That's how you boasted! Get up, you damn drunk, and explain to me how safe flying with an airplane is!"

I sit down next to Jean-Louis.

I'm a broken man! I'm... 

Wait a minute! Hold on, Tiberiu!

Isn't the autopilot smart enough to land on its own? It's... automatic. 

It's an intelligent robot, right?

If it knows how to keep the aircraft in the air, then it might know other things too. Maybe there have been other cases like this. Maybe other pilots have died during flight.

Fuck! Those had co-pilots!

I look angrily at the Frenchman and exasperatedly mutter:

"You scoundrel, wake up already! Don't do this to me!"

I'm sure there's that maneuver with the weird name... Hemliş Himles... what the hell? I forgot the name, but I've seen it on TV.

 It's worth a try.

I quickly grab Jean-Louis and start pressing his chest rhythmically. I think that's how it's done. I once watched a documentary with various resuscitation methods, but maybe I didn't pay enough attention. After minutes of work, the result is zero, and I'm soaked in sweat.

I give up the maneuvers and start giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Nothing! And on top of that, the Frenchman's breath stinks. I guess I'll let it be.

I press his chest again with both palms together, as I saw in that movie. Eventually, there's a dry crack of broken bones, and I stop, frightened.

"Damn it!"

I feel like crying.

Life's a bitch!

I don't know if these tears are from fear or anger, but crying cools me down and makes me feel better. I calm down.

I look down at the tortured body, and the sight of death conveys a profound sense of peace. 

Yes. 

Calm. 

Quiet. 

I begin to feel like when I was high on Ana's pills. I feel exactly like that, but without having taken anything. 

Death is the best pill against depression.

"Alright. If I have to die... I'll die," I whisper calmly and sit down. Well, even a stupid ending is still an ending. That's how Tiberiu's life ends."

I look pityingly at the wretched Frenchman. I don't have a candle for him, but maybe I should say something... a couple of words.

"Creator," I whisper, "have mercy on Your servant, Jean-Louis, who today departs... um... where there's no sadness, nor sighing. Send him to a bright place, um... with greenery and... how the hell does the rest go? Forgive me, Lord, but I don't remember. Amen!"

I make the sign of the cross over the dead man. I gently close each of his eyes and press a little harder to keep them closed.

"Well, don't take it personally, man. I've got nothing against you, Jean-Louis. Rest in peace! I forgive you. I hope God forgives you too. Probably those poor souls over there will forgive you, the ones who sit and talk calmly and have no idea that their thread has run out."

I burst into laughter. It's a nervous, shaky laughter. I suddenly realize that I'm the only guilty one. Me, not the pilot.

I swore yesterday that I wouldn't drink anymore, and just a few minutes ago, I asked for a drink. God doesn't mess around. 

Case closed.

But what about the others? I think about the faces they'll make when I give them the big news. A nervous laughter grips me. I just can't help it. I have to, ha, ha, ha... give them the news! Ha, ha!

The biggest news of all!

Yes, let's see the long faces they'll make. Their eyes will dance with joy. They'll look at each other first, and then, let the laughter begin. We'll all laugh until we crash into the Pacific! What a good joke!

"Ha, ha, ha! Laugh with me, Jean-Louis! Come on, laugh, you damn fool! Hi, hi... what a good joke you've made!"

I hold onto my stomach and laugh until I feel sick, then I start crying. My jaws hurt. Hi, hi, my jaws hurt! I slap myself a couple of times and manage to calm down.

Stop! 

Enough with the joke. I wipe my tears and massage my jaws. I hope I've returned somewhat to my normal appearance because I don't want to look like a lunatic when I go over there to tell them The Big News.

No, I don't have to be harsh with them. I'll be delicate... sensitive, cautious. I'll give them the news slowly, step by step, I'll prepare them. I'll be as gentle as a priest. 

Damn it, it won't help anyone if I scare them.

"Still, I don't know a single word in German," I whisper as I open the door. I only know about ten words. Well... it doesn't matter! I'll explain to them through signs!"