Model for Me| Sunsun

9

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Sunoo~

I just had gotten home after busing my father's doctor and him as well, balling my eyes out like normal as I spoke to him hoping he heard me.

For the past few days, I had been ignoring everyone, once again feeling too overwhelmed with my emotions to speak with anyone.

I definitely made sure to ignore Sunghoon, I didn't want him to see me the way I was, I didn't want him to find out how broken I actually was, because no one wanted a broken anything ever.

I do see his texts, him saying he's becoming worried, or telling me he hopes I feel better and talk to him soon.

I didn't know when I'd ever do that. I just recently also got into another fight with my mother, everything was just horrible, and recently I hadn't been doing good at work either.

I'm starting to get people who are trying to bully or pick on me, in person at work, and online between fans and haters.

It was becoming too stressful.

I had just taken a shower before the sound of my doorbell ringing was heard. Jungwon had been coming over every day and bringing me food and telling me to eat, he knew about my slight eating disorder, so even if I ignored him, he didn't care, he'd make sure I had food and was eating no matter what.

I went to open the door, really without thinking because I was so exhausted mentally. "Sunoo." Ah, it's Sunghoon, I told myself as I slightly looked up.

I took in a deep breath before letting it out in a sigh. He couldn't see my whole face, I looked horrible. "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling good enough for visitors." I said going to close the door but he stops me and grabs me gently by the chin and made me lift my head, and his face morphs into a worried one.

I know I looked so horrible, and that made me more than a bit embarrassed. "Princess-" he started but I cut him off as I move his hand away.

"Leave. I want to be alone." I told him firmly and the expression on his face made me feel bad, like I was a mean person.

"Baby, please let me in, only for a little bit? I just want to help you feel better. You don't even have to talk." He says in a worried and soft tone, and I really just felt like crying, I didn't like that he was seeing me like this.

Baggy red eyes, I was obviously smaller from not eating, and I just looked so exhausted, it hurt to even look at in the mirror.

"Please?" He says again after about a minute of silence and me thinking. "I don't want you to see me like this." I told him dropping my head back down again as I felt that stupid knot it my throat.

He was asking that question, but u knew he desperately wanted to, to ask me if I was ok, but I think he knew I'd start ugly crying as I was already holding back tears.

"Sunoo, there's nothing wrong with how you are right now, it's normal. I didn't expect you to always be happy, no one is, but I want to make you feel a little better, but you have to let me first, it hurts to see you push me away and everyone else too." He says as if he's been watching me the whole time.

Jungwon probably told him a little something, not that I was upset, I knew they were both just worried, but I hate it when people waste their worry on me.