Dreaming Of The Future

Chapter 19( Bitterness)

Anirudh: Bon.. Bondita...

Bondita didn't speak. Seeing her unresponsive Anirudh continued,

Anirudh: Bondita.. how are you? What happened after you left home? Why did you never informed me about your wellbeing? How could you leave the hostel on your own?
Do you know how much worried I was? Why did you never tried to contact me?
And... where are you?... Tell me your address...

Listening so many why's Bondita suddenly felt very tired. She still doesn't understand why this man still thinks that she is bound to answer him.
She told him in a calm voice,

Bondita: Mr. Roy Choudhury.. I called here to talk to my Baba not to answer your unnecessary questions.

Hearing her words which was void of any emotion... Anirudh's heart hurts.

Anirudh: Bondita are you alright? Are you still angry at me?

Bondita: No.. I don't care about you anymore. Moreover, you and I have already broken our relation. You may consider yourself a progressive open minded person but our society is still narrow minded. If we still continue talking they would say I'm pestering you even after divorce.

Anirudh said furiously,

Anirudh: I would cut off their tongue.. Whoever dares to talk nonsense about you I won't spare them.

Bondita was shocked at his sudden outburst.. but she suddenly laughed,

Bondita: Oh really?.. Then where were you when I was almost burnt to death?..
You were busy with your new wife..

Anirudh: Bondita.. I... I can explai..n

Bondita: No... I don't need your explanation. How many times did you explain yourself for the previous incidents. I'm so tired of your explanations. I sometimes felt it would be better if you hadn't save me from being Sati that day. Because the life you gave me, bought so much tragedy and humiliation. It would be better if I had died.

Anirudh: Bondita!!! Don't speak nonsense.. Don't jinx yourself.

Bondita: Listen.. Mr. Roy Choudhury, you always talk about right and wrong but you never want to accept your own faults. You talk about banning child marriage but you married a 8 years old kid. I know you always considered our relationship as nothing. Initially you thought I was a burden.. Then why didn't you send me away after saving me? Why did you take me to your home? Before I was sold to Hiramandi why did you not trust me? Even after that incident you could've send me away with my ma.. and live your life with Saudamini.. but you didn't.. Ksj and everyone else thought you love me and consider me your wife that's why they trained me to be an Adarsh Bahu... only If you had explained Ksj that you don't even consider me your wife. And don't want any future with me.. Ksj wouldn't have done those things. And I wouldn't bear such humiliation.

Anirudh was silent.. he didn't know why each words she spoke felt like a dragger that has been inserted into his heart..

Anirudh: Who told you that I don't want a future with you?.. Everything I did was only for your betterment.

These are the words that Bondita loathe too much. She asked him mockinly,

Bondita: Betterment? If this is the betterment that you talk about then, it would be great if I was never burdened with your life saving grace. You always had a choice but you were adamant to choose the wrong option. Your foolishness ruined many lives. I even pity Saudamini, she chose a self righteous wrong man like you that's why her life is ruined, Saurabh died, Samporna became widow and.. I lost my self respect and almost died...

Anirudh: Bondita you are angry with me I understand.. but please don't hurt me like this... It's been more than 2 years I haven't seen you. You don't know how was I living. I almost became crazy thinking that something might have happened to you. You don't know how much I care for you.. how much I lo...ve....

Bondita: And I don't even wanna know. Mr. Roy Choudhury don't bother about me anymore. You have a wife now. It's better to move on..

Then she hung up on him.

Anirudh: Bondita.. Hello...Bondita..

As he was about to redial someone snatched the phone from his hands..
Anirudh looked up it was Ksj..

Ksj: How dare you talk to my daughter?..
I've already warned you so many times to stay away from her Anirudh..

Anirudh: Kaka please.. let me talk to her once.. she has a lot of misunderstandings about me. I need to explain her..

Anirudh told him pleadingly.. but Ksj was unmoved.

Ksj: There is nothing left to explain anymore. If you keep being this much adamant about it then she won't even come home to meet me.. She just doesn't want to be bothered by you don't you understand? She wants to move on.. She doesn't want you to be a part of her life. Why don't you just let her go?...

Ksj left from there after saying that...

Anirudh went back to his room..
In the dark room he sat on the bed holding the white mirror. He was thinking about her... How worried and soft her sweet voice sounded when she thought she was talking to Bihari.. If she was still here he would have asked her to sing a song for him while he goes to sleep. When the morning comes she would have made him his favorite coffee. Then he would have left for court and dropped her at school.. on their way back home they would go to the market and she would ask him to buy her bangles and Ek badam wale roshogollahs.

While he was thinking about all this he suddenly remembered her emotionless calm voice while talking to him as if he was a stranger.

Anirudh: Bondita... kaka told me to move on and let go of you.. but what if I don't want to?... I can't even imagine a life without you. Kaka said you don't want me to be a part of your life. But what if you don't find a good person in the future. I know you would definitely come back to me. You had said I'm your Patibabu.. and I would always be. I know you can't..you can't fall in love with someone so easily. And no one can make you happy other than me... No one can love you more than me.

Then he said with determination,

Anirudh: I have to let you come back on your own because I don't know where are you. I have to plan something...