Nick and Char- A Heartstopper FanFiction

That Night

TW: SH/MH

Charlie's POV
I sat shaking, crying, struggling for breath. This wasn't uncommon of course, not for me anyway. Yes, being admitted to hospital had helped and I had gotten better, but then, there were days like these. Nights like these.

Mum and I had gotten into an argument; again. Unfortunately, this was not uncommon, but this had triggered me. Down into that spiral with no way out. Every thought I had was being twisted in some way that made me feel utterly worthless.

I had gotten very good at being quiet when this happened. I didn't need anyone checking up on me after a sob left my mouth. Everyone running to me and crowding round to see the boy slowly melting into nothing. It was better this way, It made it seem like I was better. No, I am getting better, I know I am. I just slip up, occasionally...

Jesus, even when I was telling myself I was getting better, and I could see I was, my mind, yet again, told me I wasn't. It made me want to scream, this constant turmoil in my head making me hate every little minute detail of myself. It made me want to just disappear.... No, I couldn't think that way... could I?

I looked over to my bedside table, a bad mistake. The next thing I knew, I had it in my hand. I just wanted the thoughts to go away, just for a minute. I traced over my old scars with the dull edge of the blade. God they were ugly. How could Nick have seen them and not recoiled in disgust.

Wait, Nick....

Nick’s POV
Just as I was bringing a cup of tea back to my room, my phone chimed. Now before you say anything, yes, maybe Charlie had influenced me slightly in the hot drinks department. I picked up my phone, smiling when I saw Charlie's name on the screen, and answered.

"Hey Char, whats up?!", I said, excited to speak to him

"Um.... Nick, I erm-" Charlie trailed off.

"Are you okay?", I said, worried for the answer

"Erm-"

No, not again. My poor Charlie. This had happened once before. Charlie had called me late on, no actual words. Just shaking breath and some sobs, concealed so well that it took me too long to try and figure out what he needed. By the time I got to his house, he had gone past return. I stayed to console him but there was nothing more I could have done.

This time, I wasn't going to be so naive.

"Char, I'm on my way, just try and breathe okay?"

"Im sorry, I'm so so sorry Nick", Charlie replied in between sobs

"Hey it's okay, just stay with me, I'll be round in 5 minutes"

I ran, what felt like faster than ever before. I tried to keep Charlie talking, easier said than done when neither of us could breathe properly.

Once I got to his door, I knocked and tried to slow my breathing. He didn't want anyone to know, to suspect anything. I wished he could be more open with his family but half of these spirals seemed to be triggered by them. I always tried my best to understand these things, or at least be there for him

"Hey Nick, what are you doing here at this hour?" said Julio when he opened the door. In fairness, it was 9:30 on a Wednesday night, a random time for me to be round

"Sorry, Julio, I erm .... left my coursework here, and I erm… I really need it for tomorrow. It's due first period!" I tried to make it as plausible as I could.

"Come on in! Charlie's upstairs", Julio said with a chuckle, oblivious to his son in a state of emergency.

I rushed upstairs, and burst into Charlie’s room. A slight mistake on my part.