Todoroki Angst One-Shots | Torment

9 | Honey - Todoroki x Midoriya

A/N (IMPORTANT):
this is NOT the original one-shot i wrote. the entire meaning and ending has been changed for solely wattpad. the original i wrote is on ao3 (link in my bio), so i would highly suggest you read the original instead. this version is also very poorly written in comparison.

tldr; the original got taken down, i made this an opportunity to edit this story a bit since it was old and extremely cringe, i changed this drastically on wattpad only to "adhere to the guidelines," and i turned it into tododeku here (originally bakudeku) so i could throw it in this one-shot book.

This story is not intended to promote or encourage actions/behaviors such as self-harm or substance abuse.

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Perhaps one would call it a parasitic craving. Midoriya wished for something sweet to feast upon, but his boyfriend Todoroki constantly reminded him that too much would cause a stomachache. Although Midoriya didn't particularly mind the prospect of feeling ill after indulging in his sublime, saccharine sea of sardonic sugar, Todoroki's concerns regarding Midoriya's habits only grew.

When had such an anomalous craving latched onto Midoriya? Truth be told, he wasn't entirely certain—all that mattered to him was the sweet, sweet taste of sugar savaging his tongue, and the lip-smacking sensation of a rush of sugar crawling through his veins like a canned soda effervescing with a distinct crack. Yet, after receiving day after day of support from Todoroki, Midoriya began to realize just how deep of a cavity he'd forced upon himself.

"Shouto, I want just one more today," implored Midoriya, who was nestled on the couch in his dorm beside Todoroki. "Anything will do." His eyes were like blurred, green biohazard symbols in the dark yellow light emanating from the lamp in the corner.

Todoroki exhaled slowly, burying his face into Midoriya's chest with the shake of his head. "No," he whispered as Midoriya's fingers tenderly caressed from the crowns of Todoroki's ears to his earlobes. "I understand that it feels like the only viable option, and it's difficult to change your views when your situation is the same—if not worse—but this isn't a life I want you to live. I don't think it's a life you want to be living, either." He sighed as Midoriya's chin rested over his shoulder.

"I know..." Midoriya murmured, lowering his brows. "I just can't help it." Todoroki rolled back, unfurling his body onto Midoriya's lap so that his turquoise and gray eyes met Midoriya's forest-green eyes. "But it's also really not fair to you for me to be like this, and especially when it's brought you so much stress. When you broke down after...well, that, it was kind of my wake-up call to start trying to change. I really don't want to see you so hurt because of me again..." Midoriya lowered his head, engulfing his boyfriend's pale pink lips with his; Midoriya drank up the red carbonation known as passion, vacillating not.

While Todoroki leisurely embraced the kiss bestowed upon him, Midoriya curled his arms around his boyfriend, augmenting his bitter tenacity. "I love you," whispered Todoroki, whose countenance was adorned with a faint smile. "I'm proud that you're willing to change. I know it's painful, Izuku, but I'll be here with you every step of the way. No matter what, I'll be here for you. Do you think you can make it until tomorrow? I'll make you katsudon for breakfast." His thumb gently smudged across Midoriya's cheek as though scraping away a splotch of mud.

With a dejected sigh, Midoriya replied, "Maybe..." He nuzzled his forehead into Todoroki's soft, half-red, half-white crescents of hair. "You're sweeter than any of it," he chuckled.

"I'm only doing what anyone who loves you would do," Todoroki said, yawning shortly after. "You know I'll never be upset if you relapse, right?" His dim expression remained neutral.

"Right," Midoriya giggled with mirth humming from his round, sticky words.

Later that night, Midoriya was unable to sleep. He was hungry. Desperate. Ravenous. He wanted just a sliver of sugar to sate the scorching sensation scratching at his mind like spiders skittering across skin.

I'm sorry, Shouto, but it's just so sweet, Midoriya thought while sucking down the zeal and the sweetness of his sharp, silver candy. All different kinds of forms: liquid, solid, gas, bottles, wrappers, packages... It hurts, but I'm used to it. You never judge me for relapsing. You've always been there for me. I feel terrible. You've always done so much for me, but what have I done for you? I want to stop... You made me realize that there are still sweet things in the world that won't slowly kill me. Sweet things that are healthy for me. Sweet things that don't cost a thing. It's so, so difficult to try and change, but...I'd never forgive myself if I had nothing to show for everything you've done for me.

Honey spilled out in dazzling streams. It was thick and sweet. Dripping, winding, and pooling, a fountain of honey with a copper emanation splashed across Midoriya's body. For the first time, he wanted to strangle the honey drooling from his limbs.

"You always think it's sad that I do these things, Shouto," Midoriya whispered as the aggregation of honey oozing out of his veins only thickened with each of his gut-scrambling heartbeats.

A bath of honey enveloped Midoriya's body.

"Izuku, did something happen? I'm here."

The honey was so sickeningly sweet.

"Please tell me how I can help. I want you to be happy, Izuku."

Midoriya couldn't help but thirst for the sweetness of the honey—only one of a plethora of forms he'd serve his voracious sweet tooth with.

"I want you to feel human again. When you do all this to yourself, it's almost like you see yourself as an experiment."

The honey was too thick.

"All these scars, hangovers, and everything else... I have so many nightmares where you die. Sometimes, I relive the moments where you've been to the hospital, but instead of making it out, you die before I can get there."

There was too much honey.

"Don't you understand just how much I care about you? That's why I don't want you to do this to yourself..."

The honey was too sweet.

"I would be a mess if I lost you to this, Izuku."

Yet, Midoriya stood up to his feet.

"I thought about letting myself be consumed by this overwhelming sweetness before the bitterness can take over, but..." Midoriya hobbled into the bathroom with ponderous, ungainly steps. "That wouldn't be right, would it?" He rinsed the globs of honey mottling his body before expeditiously staunching the flow.

I guess I cared more about myself than I cared about you, Shouto. I'm sorry... I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do this. I shouldn't have. I know I'm only making recovery more difficult for myself. I want to make things right, and I think my first step is to take your advice and get professional help, as daunting as it is. It won't fix everything, but I don't want to die like this. This time, I promise...I'll live sugar-free.

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REMINDER:
this is NOT the actual ending. the actual ending is much darker. please read that instead.