Tainted (Criminal Minds / One Chicago FanFic)

Chapter 16 (Edited)

Alexa Hotchner's Apartment, Bucktown Chicago

Alexa let out a shaky breath debating what to do, between the hurricane of grief from her mom's murder and this unexpected bomb shell Derek dropped she tried to fight all the emotions that were creeping in. Alexa pulled up some music on her phone and started playing it through her Bluetooth speakers. She kept the music upbeat for a while until the playlist switched to one of her and her mom's favorite songs 'Only Love Can Hurt Like This'. 

It was the straw that broke the camel's back and Alexa snapped, picking up the vase of roses she let out a frustrated scream as she threw it at the wall watching it smash and shatter to pieces. Tears fell from her eyes as she grabbed glasses, plates, and bowls throwing them across the room shattering them on the walls and floors. 

Alexa's frame sank to the floor as she sobbed into her knees, sobbing for how much she missed her mom and everything she tried to push away. Everything she didn't want to face or feel came crashing down and felt suffocating. Alexa let out a soul wrenching sob trying to calm herself down but couldn't with the tidal wave of emotions. 

A sudden and loud knock on the door caused Alexa to jump startled by the sound. 'Fuck, was Derek gone when I lost it? Damn, it. I hope so,' Alexa thought as she wiped her tears that without a doubt ruined her makeup and carefully made her way over to the door dodging the broken glass all over the floor. 

Jay and Will sat on the couch watching the beginning of the Hawks game and drinking a couple of beers in Jay's apartment after shift. "Wanna order pizza and wings? or head over to Molly's?" Jay asked from the couch next to Will who went to answer when banging, glass smashing, and things being thrown from the apartment next door caused both Will and Jay to pause and exchange a silent look. 

Neither one said anything as screaming and a soul breaking sobs sounded from next door. Within a split second, Jay was on his feet grabbing his gun and badge before heading out the door. Without a second thought, Will followed behind him as they walked down the hall and knocked on the door. 

Alexa pulled the door open expecting to see Derek standing there, instead, Detective Jay and Doctor Will Halstead stood in the hall outside her door. Jay had his gun drawn and a concerned look over both their features. "Alexa?" Will asked her confused, "Will? Jay? What are you doing here?" Alexa asked still stifling a bit. "I live next door, We heard things breaking, screaming are you okay?" Jay asked explaining to her why he was there. 

Alexa nodded yes feeling embarrassed for her outburst, "I'm okay... I'm really sorry for all the ruckus," she added noticing Jay and Will gave her a skeptical look. "Don't worry about the noise, are you sure you're okay?" Jay asked her again before glancing into the apartment noticing broken glass across the floor behind her. Alexa nodded again, "yeah, just....grieving," she said the last part more quietly as she dropped her eye contact noticing Jay still had his gun drawn. "You can put your weapon away, there's nobody else here," Alexa said wiping the tears from her face thankful she stopped crying and sniffling. 

Alexa stepped aside noticing Jay's hesitance, "You can check for yourself if you'd like," Alexa replied not expecting Jay to actually walk into her apartment. The detective did walking down the hall staying in view as he looked around before he put his gun away. "Watch your step," she told Jay. "Did you hurt yourself?" Will asked causing Alexa to look at him and shake her head no. 

"You're hands bleeding," he noted causing her to look down at her left hand that had blood running down her palm. "Shit," she muttered more to herself before she went to go down the hall. "I think Jay has a first aid kit, I'll be right back," Will told her. "I have one in my bathroom," Alexa replied only just noticing Jay started sweeping the glass on the floor. "You don't have to do that," she said walking towards him. "Watch your step, there's glass everywhere. Just stay there," he told her. "Did you just tell me to stay put in my house?" Alexa asked him with a slight laugh. 

Jay paused and looked at her, "No, I just mean I have shoes on and You seem like you could use a hand," he replied as the door opened and Will walked in holding a first aid kit. "Alright, can I see how bad it is?" Will asked her as she set the first aid kit on the small table she had in the hall. Alexa shrugged but held her hand out to him watching his focus as he looked at the cut on her hand. "Well, the good news is I can't see any glass in the cut and it's not deep enough to need stitches. I can clean and wrap it for you and you'll be good to go," Will said as he grabbed gauze and a mesh wrap setting them aside. "This- might sting like a bitch," Alexa replied seeing the rubbing alcohol swab in his hand. 

Will nodded, "I'll be okay," she replied as he started cleaning the cut causing Alexa to suck in a sharp breath from the pain that followed. "There, all clean," Will replied before taking the gauze and mesh wrap and covering the cut across her palm. "All done, remember to change that every 12 hours, and if it starts to look infected you're gonna have to go to the E.D. for anti-biotics," Will replied. "All the glass is all swept up too," Jay added, "Thank you, both of you... You guys didn't have to do this, especially after I probably gave you both a heart attack," Alexa replied. 

"No problem," Jay replied, "Happy to help," Will said. "You look really nice," Will replied as Alexa gave him a small smile. "Thanks," she replied feeling her mascara drying from the tears that caused it to run down her cheeks. "Were you heading out? Jay asked as Alexa shrugged. "I was... it's kinda a long story. I'm kinda torn between fixing my makeup and heading over to Molly's or just getting changed and going to bed," Alex replied honestly. 

"If you wanna talk or just hang out, we'll be next door watching the Hawks game," Will said. "Thank you both again," Alexa replied walking the Halsteda brothers to the door. "Seriously if you need anything anytime, just knock. 2B," Jay said telling her his apartment considering their were 4 apartments on each floor in their 3 story apartment complex. Alexa nodded as Jay and Will walked out of the apartment and she shut the door behind them. 

With a deep sigh, Alexa made her way towards the bathroom ultimately deciding to take a shower, get changed, and climb into bed for the rest of the night crying softly into her pillow until she fell asleep thinking about the advice her mom gave her the last time her and Derek split up 5 months ago over the same reason. He felt bad his work hours kept him away, causing him to bail on countless dates, and no matter how many times Alexa told him she understood and she was willing to make it work. Derek didn't want to put her through that, her mom asked her if it was fair to herself and Derek to keep doing this dance and hoping for a different result. 

Less than a week later she got back together with Derek, and they were good ever since then... Until now, Alexa knew her mom was right. She had to let him go for good this time, this was the 4th time in a year and a half they split up and got back together again. An ache went through Alexa's chest at the thought, but this on and off again relationship wasn't fair or healthy for either of them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed chapter 16! I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. I'm hoping to have Chapter 17 posted by tomorrow at the latest (Sunday, April 7th, 2024).   Thank you for all the love and support on this story <3 

-Muskokagirl204