If He's Not For Me
I talked to God last night.
I begged him, ‘if he's not for me...’
There was a long pause after that
The silence ruled my weary heart and my pleading hand.
‘If he's not for me,’ I repeat again
Not sure if my truth can ever be spoken
‘If he's not for me,’
‘If he's not for me,’
I couldn't stop saying like I couldn't stop my unacceptance
Because if I wanted it to be him, I wouldn't even have initiated the distance.
I wouldn't have changed my mind,
I wouldn't have broken up with him.
'If he's not for me,' why can't he be?
I still hope this is just the wrong time for us
That in the end, it would still be you and me.
But above all, there would be no us
Because I couldn't see our relationship would last.
I wanted my solitude more than I wanted a lover
So I cut the ties and pronounced it over.
'If he's not for me...I know he's not'
But I still have deluded hopes that I wish to rot.
So I pray to God, 'I know he's not for me,
So, please help me let it go completely.'
