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Y/N

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Y/N


WHEN I LOOK BACK ON THIS DAY, MY BEHAVIOR DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME. I don't understand why I didn't fight him harder, why I didn't try to get away again. It wasn't a rational decision on my part-it wasn't a conscious choice to cooperate in order to avoid pain.

No, I am acting purely on instinct.

And my instinct is to submit to him.

He puts me down on the bed, and I just lie there

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He puts me down on the bed, and I just lie there. I'm too worn out from our earlier struggle, and I still feel woozy from the drug.

There is something so surreal about what's happening that my mind can't process it fully. I feel like I'm watching a play or a movie. It can't possibly be me in this situation. I can't be this girl who was drugged and kidnapped, and who is letting her kidnapper touch her, stroke her all over her body.

We're lying on our sides, facing each other. I can feel his hands on my skin. They're slightly rough, callused. Warm on my frozen flesh. Strong, though he's not using that strength right now. He could subdue me withease, like he did before, but there is no need. I'm not fighting him. I'm floating in a hazy, sensual fog.

He's kissing me again, and caressing my arm, my back, my neck, my outer thigh. His touch is gentle, yet firm. It's almost like he's giving me a massage, except I can feel the sexual intent in his actions.

He kisses my neck, lightly nibbling on the sensitive spot where my neck and shoulder join, and I shiver from the pleasurable sensation.

I close my eyes. It's disarming, that surprising gentleness of his. I know I should feel violated-and I do-but I also feel oddly cherished. With my eyes closed, I pretend that this is just a dream. A dark fantasy, like the kind I sometimes have late at night. It makes it more palatable, the fact that I'm letting this stranger do this to me.

One of his hands is now on my buttocks, kneading the soft flesh. His other hand is traveling up my belly, my rib cage. He reaches my breasts and cups the left one in his palm, squeezes it lightly. My nipples are already hard, and his touch feels good, almost soothing. Roh has done this to me before, but it's never been like this. It's never felt like this.

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