Masked Pain

Man in the mirror

(Tw: starving, sexual assault/rape) Jay pov:
He had just gotten out of the shower now getting dressed. He didn't need a shower but he liked them and going out was a good excuse to have one. He put on one of his long sleeve Starfarer shirts, he purposely picked the one out of the two he had that didn't have Fritz Donnegan on it and or the person his biological father played. He put on black pants that looked like one that had the white stripe down the side, but instead of a stripe it was in the shape of a lightning bolt and he of course put on his gloves afterwards. His gloves were beginning to get annoying, constantly rubbing against his skin, he had to try his hardest not to let it get wet or they'd be really uncomfortable to wear and he even slept in them because occasionally people wake him up earlier than his alarm goes off.

He walked out of his room and outside where the others were waiting for him to summon their dragons. They were talking, he knew they were, but he wasn't listening. He was more focused on the fact that he hadn't been anywhere out of the monastery since the alternate timeline, which also means he barely interacted with people- well, at least nice people in a while. There was the other ninja and most of the team he built when the others were..well gone, but other than that everyone he'd met since he stepped foot on that ship that took him and the others to the island hadn't been very nice. He was scared, what if he'd forgotten how to interact with other people? He'd always been talking and an extrovert, he'd talk to almost everyone he'd see without worry. Now he was scared to even talk to his team, for fsm's sake he keeps flinching when they touch him he shouldn't be this jumpy!

He must've zoned out because he didn't even realize the others have started summoning their dragons until both Lloyd and Kai were already gone. He summoned his dragon but..it took a weird amount of effort. Usually it'd take no effort at all just poof and there's the dragon, but now he'd taken longer than Nya who had just barely learned to summon hers. It worried him slightly but he decided to ignore it for now.

They'd finally landed in front of Chens noodle house, the others were talking along the way, he kept silent. It probably looked weird but he was too focused on imagining different interactions with other people to really focus on the conversation. Before he knew it they walked inside, first master he really needed to stop zoning out. Skylor walked up to them, she always greeted every guest but was always particularly happy to see them. "Hey, welcome back" Skylor said smiling, everyone was talking with her and saying hello but him. He was panicking, she's the first one other than the team he's seen since- no, he just needed to calm down. "Hey how's my fellow bisexual red head?" Skylor asked, trying to talk to him, he immediately looked up at her and realized how strange he must be acting, "Good as usual, what about you?" He asked Skylor, he mentally scolded himself for how bland that sounded, he'd usually add a little pizzazz to it but he was too afraid to draw any more attention to himself than necessary. "Ah same as last time" she told him with a slight laugh, he did the same, trying to look as normal as possible.

They'd sat down at a table and began trying to figure out what to order. Everyone had ordered except for him, "What are you gonna order Jay?" Cole asked him "Oh, I'm not hungry" he lied to his best friend, he was in fact starving, but he didn't deserve food and he never even had the motivation to get it anyways, sure he could just order it now but he still didn't deserve it. "Oh c'mon, you gotta order something. This stuffs delicious!" Lloyd said joining the conversation excitedly, he then realized not getting food at a place he and Cole used to beg to let them go to in front of everyone, wasn't a good move at all, he didn't want people to get suspicious. He sighed, playfully rolling his eyes "Fineee, I'll just get a small bowl of noodles" he told them. Cole looked at him threateningly, as if warning him he was going to turn this into a verbal conversation in front of the others if he ignored his stare. "Uhm- or a medium" he said normally on the outside, though defeated on the inside. Cole seemed satisfied as he loosened up and stopped staring at him.
.  .  .
He, Lloyd and Zane all already finished their food. It felt good to eat again, especially here. "I'm just gonna head to the bathroom" he told the others and slid out from the booth, he walked into the bathroom to be met with one other person in there. He immediately froze, his face paled and he tensed as his heart began racing. Standing there, washing his hands in the same bathroom as him, was someone from the misfortunes keep, one of his least favourite people on that ship, second to Nadakhan. He'd called him Moustache because he didn't know his real name when he'd met him and he had a big Moustache. He also had somewhat of a bowl cut that somehow turned messy enough to make it look decent, with black hair and dark chocolate brown eyes.

Moustache had noticed him staring through the mirror "Hey, need something?" He asked, he wasn't being polite and it was more of a demand than an ask. Nonetheless he answered anyways "Oh-..no sorry-!" He shakily replied, trying to get it out as fast as possible as he broke eye contact. Moustache chuckled, seemingly amused at his fear as he turned to leave, lightly caressing his side as he walked by. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Moustache left, though he was still frozen in place as he began hyperventilating.
.  .  .
He was tiredly cleaning the ship in one of his favourite spots to do so, though he didn't necessarily like any of them, this place was tolerable. The pirates rarely came here, so he was typically free from the pushing, laughing, insults, etc. Though unfortunately for him one of his already least favourite pirates walked in, this pirate frequently played scrap-n-tap with him and took the time out of his day or night to mess with him while he's cleaning, which he supposes he's gonna do now. He didn't actually know this pirates name yet so he just called him Moustache because of his big moustache.

Moustache slowly walked over to him, but he didn't stop when he was already in front of him, Moustache kept walking towards him forcing him to back himself up into a wall. He eventually did hit the wall, Moustache slowly took the mop out of his hands and threw it on the floor. He abruptly and aggressively grabbed Jays wrists, pinning them above his head. He yelped in both surprise and pain as he glared at Moustache. He used one hand to hold his wrists in place, the other began trailing down his body starting from just underneath his armpit slowly dragging itself down as Moustache smirked at him. As soon as he realized what Moustache was going to try and do to him he attempted to scream. That didn't work out, Moustache had slammed the hand not holding his wrists onto his mouth forcefully. "Make a sound and this will get a lot more painful than it has to be. Understand?" Moustache told him threateningly, he nodded his head already beginning to cry. "Awh, I haven't even done anything yet and you're already crying?" Moustache said not hiding his amusement as he laughed.

Moustache lowered his hand from his mouth and was about to go back to touching him before one of the girl pirates with red, long, wavy hair and green eyes walked in. Once she'd realized what was happening she just looked rather annoyed, that was confirmed when she sighed an extremely annoyed sigh "You can take the kids virginity later, the capt'n needs us in the brig" She told Moustache, still very annoyed. "Fine." He told her before leaning next to Jays ear "but don't think I won't be back for you birdie" Moustache whispered in his ear so only he could hear, sending a shiver down his spine before letting go and walking off. He tried his best not to break down and continue cleaning, picking up the mop Moustache threw.
.  .  .
Moustache had tried many more times to get him alone, though he managed to wiggle his way out of every one of them. Most of the time he was interrupted by someone who needed his help. Other times his crying and screaming had been too loud to the point a crew member had to intervene. The crew didn't care whether he was raped or not, but they cared about how annoying his cries could be, which he was weirdly grateful for.
.  .  .
His flash backs were thankfully interrupted when someone else walked in the room. "Jay?" He heard Lloyd ask, he whipped around to face him, panicked, he was on the verge of tears but willed himself not to cry, he tried to hide his shaking "Mhm?" He hummed, too afraid to use his voice knowing it'd be shaky "You've been in here for a while...are you alright?" Lloyd asked, taking in how he looked right now. He clearly wasn't doing a very good job at hiding his fear "Uhm- yeah! Just zoned out for a second, I'll be there in a bit.." Jay told Lloyd comfortingly, Lloyds worried expression turned normal again "Oh, alright!" He said then ran off, he was glad Lloyd was gullible when it came to his friends.

He'd finished in the bathroom and began to walk back to the table, praying he doesn't run into Moustache again. He hadn't even noticed when he'd made it to the table until he had to sit down. He kept looking at his empty bowl, avoiding eye contact. He flinched when Nya held his hand under the table, but settled into it, still looking at his bowl. She must've noticed something was up, he wasn't necessarily being obvious but he wasn't being discreet either.

After a couple more minutes of conversation he wasn't involved in they'd all decided to head back, it was all a blur but they'd made it back to the monastery and of course he immediately went into his room. He didn't know what it was but it was like the in person interaction with other people made him tired, he couldn't take anymore right now. Not to mention the whole bathroom incident. But thankfully today was finally over, though he did have to admit it was nice hanging out with his friends and eating food again. He was just exhausted.