Private But Not A Secret [on A hiatus]

Chapter Three

Zee pov

Waking up next to Nunew is like hitting a pause button on the usual chaos. I look at nunew sleeping comfortably laying his head on my chest. His arms were wrapped around my waist and his leg was between mine. It's weirdly quiet in my head, no storms or dark clouds, just him and me and this weirdly comforting scent of his. It's like a throwback to some chill times that feel like a lifetime ago.

We shuffle out to breakfast with the crew, and I can't help but sneak peeks at him. He's just there, all chill and happy, chatting away. And here's me, with my life's usual mess just waiting to spill over. I gotta keep it light with Nunew, can't let my crazy drag him down. He's got this light around him, and I'm not about to be the one to snuff it out. So yeah, no matter what relationship I might have with nunew in the future for his sake it has to be casual. it's gotta stay casual, just two people enjoying the good moments while they last.
I can't get to close to him and ruin his peace.

Nhu

Zee wouldn't stop looking at me during breakfast which made me blush and shy. I tried hard focusing on what Nat was saying but it was hard with Zee's gaze on me. "..... And nunew will sing, right?" Nat says. "um yeah." I say. Nat did not mind that I wasn't focused because he goes right back to talking about the wedding rehearsals without giving me a second thought. After breakfast I rush to walk at zee's side to the hotel ball room where the rehearsals are gonna take place. He silently walks next to me. I try to make conversation but can't think of anything to talk about. Maybe he feels the same. Maybe thats why he is quiet too.
We arrive at the ballroom and Nat goes full bridezella mood.Telling us we're to stand, when and how to do things.

He handed me song lyrics to memorize and piano pieces to practice. We practiced our walks down the aisle, with Nat and Max leading the way, and the rest of us following in pairs. Zee and I brought up the rear. I noticed the other couples were holding hands in various ways, so I turned to Zee and suggested, "I think we're supposed to hold hands." He shrugged off the idea, arms folded, replying, "It's just a rehearsal; we don't have to." I faced forward, clasping my hands together, feeling the gap widen between us.

Max, noticing the awkwardness, tried to bridge it by asking Zee to assist me with the piano. Zee's expression soured to annoyance, but before it could escalate, I intervened, "It's OK, Max. I can manage on my own." I get to  the piano, but the lid was too heavy. Zee watched me struggle for a moment before I gave up and pretended to busy myself with dusting the lid. That's when Yim, ever observant, came over and asked, "You okay?" Grateful, I responded, "Can you help me lift this?" Together, we raised the lid, and I took my place on the bench. "Want me to sit with you while you practice? The others are still practicing their dances, but I'm done and bored." Yim offered. I scooted over, making room for him, and began to play, the piano notes a reflection of the day's mixed emotions.

We take all morning and afternoon to do this. Nat finally releases us to have a very late lunch or an early dinner.

We get to a restaurant and take our seats. It was a round table; I tried to sit next to Zee, but he rushed to sit between Yim and Net. Embarrassed, I sat on the other side of Yim so I wouldn't see Zee. "Are you alright, Nunew? You have been quiet the whole dinner," James says. "I'm fine, just tired from the rehearsal," I make an excuse. My body wasn't heavy, my heart was. It's obvious that Zee has been avoiding me since this morning.

"Poor Nunew. You just need a pick-me-up. Let's go get some drinks after dinner," Poppy says, already downing his third glass of wine. "I second it, drink till you can't drink anymore before the wedding in three days," Nat says, taking a gulp of his glass of wine.

The guys start talking among themselves. I lean forward so I can look at Zee on the other side of Yim. I catch him looking at me, then he looks back at his plate. My heart feels heavier. I don't understand what I did for him to act this way.

The guys start talking among themselves. I lean forward to catch a glimpse of Zee on the other side of Yim. I catch him looking at me, then he quickly shifts his gaze back to his plate. My heart feels heavier. I don't understand what I did to make him act this way.

We arrive at the beachside bar and immediately go our separate ways. Net, James, Yim, and Tutor head in one direction, while Poppy, Zee, Max, and Nat go in another. I feel so lonely, reminded that I'm not really close to anyone. I sit by the bartenders, watching them mix different cocktails, and order the ones that catch my eye. I'm not much of a drinker, so by my second cocktail, I can feel my cheeks warming up and my tongue getting heavy. "Hey," I hear, feeling a tap on my shoulder. "Want some company?" a guy asks, taking a seat next to me. I say nothing, just watch my cocktail change colors. I try to stand up, but my tipsy self trips over him. He catches me and wraps his hands around my waist to steady me. I giggle, "Do you want to dance?" I ask him. He leads me to the dance floor, places his hands on my hips, and I wrap my arms around his neck. We lean in close, foreheads and noses touching, swaying side by side. "What's your name, baby?" he whispers. "Nunew, and yours?" I reply, our lips almost touching. "Alex," he says, pulling me closer. Suddenly, I'm yanked away from him. I stumble backward and fall onto the sand, my vision blurring as I try to regain my balance. Through the haze, I see Zee gripping Alex's collar, while Max tries to hold him back. I stand up and put myself between them. "What are you doing!?" I scream at Zee. "You don't know this man, and you're letting him hold you like that?" he says calmly, which is somehow scarier. "So? It's my life," I retort, pulling Alex away from them all and toward the other side of the beach.

"Was that your boyfriend?" Alex asks while we sit on a huge rock by the shore. "No," I say and lay my head on a cold rock because I feel nauseated. "Crazy ex-boyfriend?" he prys. "Would you believe that I met him yesterday?" I say, hugging the cold rock. Alex laughs as if I'm joking, obviously not believing me. "Well, your boyfriend is coming to get you," Alex says, pointing at Zee's figure approaching us. "I better leave before he punches me. His friends stopped him moments ago, but now he is alone. He looks like he would do it." Alex gets up, and I grab his arm. "Take me with you," I desperately plead. I don't want to share a room with an angry Zee who has been ignoring me. It would be awkward. Alex scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "I would, but I can't. I work here and live in the staff rooms. I don't think the other staff members would appreciate me bringing another person," he says, looking at me sympathetically as he leaves.