Private But Not A Secret [on A hiatus]

Chapter Eight

Nunew pov
A year later

I received a text from Nat inviting me to his backyard party.

Nunew: "Sorry, I'm going to be a bit late. Baby Leo needed me. Can I come with him?"
Nat: "Of course, it's going to be family-friendly. See you there. ;)"

I turned to Leo, who was peacefully taking his afternoon nap. I wrapped him in a white fluffy blanket and put a hat on his head. Leo is a relatively quiet baby who rarely gives any trouble. After safely putting him in the car seat, I drove to Nat's house. This would be the second time I had been there since they bought it, but I hadn't seen it fully furnished. I was a bit late, but nobody seemed to mind. Everyone was just minding their own business.
I chose to stay inside the house since it was too loud outside. The music and the voices of people talking were overwhelming, especially for a baby. I stood near the sliding doors, watching everyone else, when Nat approached me.

"Yay, baby Leo is here!" he exclaimed, playing with him and making us laugh. He adjusted Leo's hat and made a comment about how babies look like they're balding, which made me laugh even harder. Nat kept cooing at Leo until we were startled by a loud BANG! Someone had fallen against the glass sliding door. I moved away because I did not want to deal with whatever drunk had fallen, and on top of that, Leo started crying because of the loud, sudden noise. I walked upstairs to comfort him.

I loved singing lullabies to Leo and enjoyed listening to them. Without much effort, he was calm again. After a bit more rocking and singing, I felt a presence behind me. I didn't panic because it was probably Nat. He was likely standing by the door to avoid disturbing us. I heard the door open wider, turned back, and saw Zee.

My eyes couldn't believe what was in front of me. Wasn't he supposed to be overseas now? When did he come back? Why is he back? Why didn't anyone warn me?

I unintentionally stopped rocking Leo, so he started crying. I quickly snapped out of it and looked for his bottle. He was probably hungry. He had just woken up from his nap, so it was possible. I tried digging through his baby bag while holding him, which was hard. Leo was a big, healthy, heavy baby. "Let me help," I heard Zee's deep voice. Before I could react, he had already taken Leo.

I looked at Zee through the mirror in front of me and saw him effortlessly holding Leo. I felt myself tear up. I pretended to take time looking for his bottle so I could wipe my tears. After a few deep breaths, I took Leo away from him. "Thank you," I cringed at how strange those words sounded. It made it obvious that I was crying. "You can leave now," I told Zee without looking at him. I gave Leo his bottle; he wasn't drinking it, though, but Zee had managed to calm him down.

"I have missed you, Nunew," he said in a soft voice. A voice that I had missed. I held Leo closer for comfort. "Why did you leave?" he asked. Because I don't think a life with you would give me the emotional stability I need, I thought to myself but remained quiet.

"OK, fine, don't tell me. But why were you ignoring my calls? Was it to hide this?" he asked. I cried, I don't know why, but I did. I love Zee, so much, but I couldn't let myself love him because of insecurities. "I would have taken responsibility," he said. Responsibility? For what? "What are you talking about?" I asked him, confused. Then I shook my head. I had decided to cut him out of my life.

He doesn't owe me anything. I stand up, about to leave, but he stops me and sits me down.

He leaves the room as I put Leo down for a nap. He was just tired, I guess. Afterward, I try to go downstairs, but Zee stops me. "Nunew, we need to talk," he says. I lead him to an empty bedroom.

"Is... Is that baby mine?" he asks. How ridiculous the question was. "No," I say, staring him down. "Is it someone else's?" he continues with his ridiculous questions. "Obviously," I say. How could Leo be his baby? He didn't even look like him. Alex is going to have a field day with this. Now it's starting to make sense. Zee thinks Leo is our baby, but I'm just babysitting for Alex's sister.

He looks at me blankly and hangs his head back with a sigh of relief. "I thought he was our son," he breathes. "Oh, so you're happy he isn't?" I ask. "Yeah," he says. "Is the thought of having kids with me that bad?" I ask, feeling my throat close up. "That's not what I meant," he says, trying to reach for my hand. I flinch back. "Well, that's what you said and implied when you were visibly relieved that Leo isn't ours," I partially mumble between tears. "Yes-no, I would have loved him more than anything, but it would have saddened me that I missed a year of his life," he says.

He comes near me and wraps his arms around me. "I have missed you so much," he says, blowing air in my ear, making me shiver. He traces kisses along my jaw and bites my chin, chuckling. He still doesn't let me go, just lays his chin on my head. "Let me take you home tonight, huh?" he says. "I drove here," I say. "Well, let me follow you home," he says, swinging us back and forth. "I need to take Leo home," I respond. "I'll come along," he suggests. "But your car?" I say. "I came here with Max," he says. I really can't get rid of him. I have run out of excuses and accept my fate.

After our talk, he was called downstairs by someone. Nat and I just stayed and ate upstairs while playing with Leo.

I thought leaving early would be the best way to avoid Zee, so I wrapped Leo up in his blanket and quickly fastened him in his car seat. He kept laughing and giggling as if it were some kind of game. I get in the driver's side and am about to drive off until suddenly the passenger door is opened and Zee gets in, putting on his seat belt. "You almost left me," he says casually. He turns back and shakes Leo's chubby little hand, making him giggle more. I accept defeat and drive to Alex's sister's place.

We get there in no time. I take Leo out of his car seat and carry him to the front door before knocking. As soon as I do, Alex opens it. "Nunew and Leo, I was about to come and fetch you, but Maya told me you had left early and were on your way," he says, then stops mid-sentence to look behind me. There stands Zee, in all his glory, holding Leo's baby bag. Alex takes Leo, still staring at Zee. "Your boyfriend is back?" he whispers to me. Zee hands him the baby bag, steps back, and places his hand on my shoulder. An awkward silence falls. "Zee, could you please fetch Leo's car seat?" I ask, removing his hand from my shoulder. He nods and leaves. "He's not my boyfriend," I tell Alex once Zee is out of earshot. "The more you say that, the less I believe it," Alex replies, placing Leo in his playpen. Zee returns with the car seat, places it by the door, and just stands there.