[Lloyd] Another one? Please?

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TW: insinuation of unnamed traumatic events, mention of manipulation

[based on some real event backstory-wise, your discretion is appreciated]

ANGST to FLUFF

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You do not remember how everything escalated this quickly. You asked if you could speak to him privately outside. The temperature was cool, and you two sat next to each other on a bench near the trees. You were simply telling him things that have happened to you before, confiding to him. Past events to which you have somewhat made peace with. Although you still feel lingering emotions about what happened, you try your best daily to make peace with them. Life is like that sometimes, and you can do nothing to prevent that. Mistakes are born for you to learn from them. When you do not, they will keep happening until you open your eyes to the situation. Some days are easier than others, but you keep reminding yourself that all is well now. That everything will be okay, one step at a time. So you breathe in and breathe out and take another step. At this moment, you look over your friend, a sad smile on your face.

Those things were not his fault or yours, you both know this. However, Lloyd does not see it entirely that way. He feels as if he has failed you. He is a ninja, someone who protects the entire realm and beyond. He even is the legendary prophesized green ninja, for the First Spinjitsu Master's sake! How could he not see that happened? Not prevent it? The blonde cannot believe you are only telling this now... He failed you, did he not?

His voice comes out stronger than he would have liked when he asked you why you did not tell him sooner. He fears it would be because you did not see him as reliable. His voice is rougher and louder when he speaks to you, due to his anger toward himself. Lloyd is also angry at the people who did the things you mentioned to you. He would never be angry at you, especially not for things outside your control. You know that, yet you cannot help but flinch at his raised voice. 

Lloyd apologizes and reaches out to you, but you back away as a reflex. His figure stiffens at your reaction. His sight darkens and it turns to the ground facing him. You see his hands turn into fists. Lloyd tries to control his anger. Are you scared of him too? Is he as bad as those people you mentioned? Do you hate him now? Should he leave? You see him start to tremble. He wonders what he should do. A tornado of thoughts clouds his mind. You stare at him, wondering what you should do next.

The only thing Lloyd is able to say is, "I'm sorry, so sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me..."

Nya comes to the scene, wondering what happened. She came because she was worried about the shouts. She knows her friend very well, Lloyd is not quick to shout. The woman looks to you, he would never yell at you, especially you. What does he mean when he says something is wrong with him? Aside from yelling... 

Lloyd sighs, running a hand through his hair before putting it into his pockets. "I... you're here because I was loud, right?" He asks, his gaze still lingering on the ground before him.

"Well, yeah. Fights happen often, but usually, it doesn't concern you two..."  Nya answered nervously. "What's going on here?" She asks warmly. Nya remembers you two having a conversation about this. You told her everything that happened, finding comfort in her presence. You also discussed your interest in telling Lloyd, because of... obvious reason to everyone, but to him and you.

You break the silence first, noticing Lloyd is vaguely listening, "I finally had enough courage to tell Lloyd what I told you the other day..." You look over to Lloyd, who is still stuck in his head. "Lloyd, I wanted to keep it to myself at first. Nya reassured me a lot before I could say it to her, and she encouraged me to tell you." You smile sadly at your friend. You wonder if he is listening to you. You would have never expected a reaction like this from him. It would be easier to understand if he shared what is happening inside his head... The three of you stare at each other for a long moment. You stand there awkwardly, not knowing what you should do. Nya is utterly confused by the outcome of your conversation, not sure if she should leave or stay. Lloyd is still as a statue, barely breathing. 

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