• A Blackbird's Serenade •

"Set Fire To The Rain"

Tiana

Sunglasses sat before my eyes, hiding their emotional exhaustion and puffiness as I rolled my suitcases behind me with a carry-on bag on my forearm.

I still wore the clothes from class night, and could still get faint whiffs from the club's stench on me. The memory of it all was still so vivid, no matter how bad I'd been trying to forget. I didn't want to keep replaying the moment in my mind. I didn't want to keep spinning myself silly with the questions swarming my brain.

At every point in coming here I kept thinking, 'you should go back...' 'don't leave,' 'turn around Tee...' But then every one of those thoughts would follow up with the sickening image of that man's tongue in her mouth.

Never did I think that seeing something like that would hurt me the way that it did. I knew it would tear at me, imagining her with anyone else the way she's been with me, but I didn't think I'd actually feel my heart nearly splitting in my chest. I didn't think I'd lose the ability to breathe the way that I did. I didn't think that my entire world would stop spinning as if I were in a horrible dream, or a scene in a movie.

Only it was exactly like that. And maybe even worse....

I wondered if that was the first time they'd kissed, or if that one was simply one of many others. I wondered if she wanted him to do it, and if she enjoyed it. I wondered if she'd do away with me afterwards, instead of forgiving me like I'd hoped.

And so, I kept going...

I didn't get back to Atlanta until the next day, and the thought of returning to my apartment alone made me want to sob all over again.

So, after boarding off the plane and catching a cab from the airport, I went to a place that felt just as safe, aside from my parents house. My heels clicked along the sidewalk as I spotted her car and his in the driveway. And with a soft sigh, I raised my hand to give the white door two simple knocks.

A few moments passed before I heard a 'who is it?' And hearing her voice brought me a sense of relief as my shoulders slumped.

"It's me Cee..."

The door swung open with quickness and my head picked up to find a wide eyed Coco on the other side. Confusion quickly took her expression as she dipped her head past me in search of Journee I'd assume.

"Tiana what's goin on, what the hell you doin here-"

"I just needed to stay here for a bit," I spoke softly, annoyed that the hoarseness of my voice instantly gave me away. Her gaze then softened once she heard it. "I uh... I didn't think I'd get much sleep at my place 'nd I'm awfully tired..."

Before she could respond, Franklin appeared behind her with a smile. It quickly turned into a frown though, as he glanced around me as well.

"Hey Tee... Where Jo, you back a lil early-"

Coco swatted an arm back to his midsection while I couldn't help letting my head fall. "Franky-"

"What? What I say?"

"She's still on the road Frank... I left the tour...." Already, I could feel the tears about to return as I bit my lip, avoiding their eyes. His face softened as Coco tilted her head and reached out to me.

"Oh Tee..." I shook my head, lazily waving her off for I didn't trust my words not to break. Though she urged me into an embrace anyway, and within seconds I was breaking down again. "C'mon honey I got you- it's okay..."