Dreams Who Never Come True

Chapter 10: Are these Your Reasons?

"Fuck you, mother." A masculine voice hissed.

It wasn't hard for me to tell who spoke, who cursed my mother in front of his very eyes. There was no one else who could anyways, other than my father and I. It was... Ji-ho.

Questions, of all sorts, find their ways into me. Questions, of which I would be prohibited from asking. First of all, I had the question of: What is going on? I choose to eavesdrop on their conversation, in hopes of finding clues regarding the situation. I was clueless, something which I wasn't found of.

I recall how last time, when I eavesdropped on my father, it led to my father punishing me. It led to me being choked by that father. But I can't help but feel intrigued. Right now, I am well-assured that my father believes that I'm asleep. I'm probably safe right now, but for precautions, I stay in my room. I also didn't even know where he was anyways.

"Ji-ho, please, calm down." I listen to my mother say, in a tone urging Ji-ho to calm himself. I sense desperation at the edge of her tone.

I wished to go and ask my parents about what concurred. Right now, I figured I was being left in the dark, unbeknownst to the drama occurring between my sibling and parents. I earnestly was just... curious in some way. Curiosity, of which my father said, is a dangerous feeling to behold, and that if I have it, I should rid of it at once.

Being the docile and timid person I am, I try to abide. I try to eradicate it from my mind, but it comes to no avail. Why? Because it simply is impossible to do so. I cannot just bid farewell to thoughts lingering within my mind. It would be preposterous to be capable of doing so. Which is why, no matter what my father said regarding this, I could not listen to him. This time, I could not follow the script, and I continued to eavesdrop on the conversation between them and my brother, Ji-ho.

I ask myself, whether I am changing as a person or not. I would love to change, be different from the person I was before. I can't tell whether I am still the same person, timid and cowardly. Or if I'm turning into someone else. It may be impossible for me to tell till I am the complete opposite of who I am now. I don't even know who I am now.

I wonder whether my story is about how I change as a person, and find a version of myself who I truly want to be. Or if my story is about how I suffer from the pains hailing from my father. There were so many possibilities, so many roads to trek, and so many paths to be found. I can only choose one, however, and I did not know which one I wanted to choose... but then, it doesn't matter to me anyways, right? It wasn't like I can make my own decisions anyways. With just the pull of a string, someone can determine my fate.

"And why must I listen to you?" Ji-ho sneers, in a low, hissing tone. I couldn't lie, he sounded like a snake. A winding, twisty and slithering snake. Snakes trap their prey, I recall from my studies, and would either choke them to death or use some sort of venom. My father was both of them. He used his serum, to poison me, to immobilize me. He uses his arms, his strength, to choke me. Trap me.

My mother goes quiet for a few minutes, for a reason I didn't know. After those agonizing minutes, she kept calm with Ji-ho. Infuriated Ji-ho. "Your father is returning soon, Ji-ho. Myeong is asleep, and you are making a ruckus. He wouldn't be pleased. And, right now, I'm busy."

I could tell that my mother was hiding an abundant amount of details from Ji-ho. Perhaps that was why she went silent for a few minutes. That is, to conceal some covert information from him. All she said was a few, basic sentences. Ji-ho, in his state of rage, doesn't hear her words.

"Why is it always 'Myeong'?" Ji-ho scowls. Questions of which I assumed had been loitering at the tip of his tongue find their way out through his mouth. At least, he can spit out questions without falling back in cowardice. I think to myself, feeling a rushing wave of exhaustion. I continue to look above while I eavesdropped.

Ji-ho snaps, like broken glass. When people are angry, I find them scary. Because whenever my father was angry, it would lead to horrific outcomes. I've never had the will to purposefully anger someone. I couldn't lie, I found Ji-ho quite intimidating when angered. "What makes Myeong so unique from me? Who bestowed and laureled upon her those 'unique' traits that made her the star of the show?"

"Ji-ho, I-"

"Shut up, mom. I haven't finished talking." Ji-ho interjects her, cutting off whatever she was going to say. He continues on, rambling questions and expressing his annoyance and anger. I couldn't help but ask myself, if this was really how Ji-ho saw me nowadays. If this is why he, as he claims, loathes me. Before, I never really understood, but now, I was grasping a bit of his reason.

I hear the sound of shattering glass, as it hit the ground and scattered into fragments. It's followed by the sound of the unsheathing of a blade. While doing this, Ji-ho proceeded onwards with his talk, "Mom, how will Dad feel if I were to die, or vanish? How would you feel? In contrast, how will you two feel if Myeong were to be gone from this land? For me, you two will feel nothing! For Myeong, on the other hand, you two will grieve over her death, because she's your little star actor! Why am I considered a fail, even if I have done nothing wrong?"

I wonder, whether my parents did show favoritism towards me or not. Well, I figured it wasn't oblivious about my father's situation with me, but my mother's was quite difficult to find out. My father was obsessed with me, claiming for me to become someone great in the future. All of that crap.

My mother, I normally see her giving equal attention to us both. Sometimes, she is with Ji-ho more, because my father no longer sees Ji-ho as his own son. My father has disregarded Ji-ho, tossed him aside like he's a piece of trash. I never knew what happened between them before I was born, but it definitely was something that brought their relationship downhill.

"Ji-ho, please listen to me when I say this," My mother begins, still showing no highly strong emotions such as annoyance to Ji-ho. Keeping her composure and soft self, she responds to Ji-ho, giving him reassurance and words to hopefully quell the anger pulsing through him. I don't hear the rest of her words, for her voice had gone hush for a moment. I guessed it was because she was whispering into Ji-ho's ear, so no one could hear. Of course, in case I was secretly awake, of which I was.

"Lies." Ji-ho replies, with no tone in his voice this time, "All of your words are lies. None of them are true."

He then continues, "Since you two are overly obsessed with Myeong, and she's asleep as of now, I will go kill her in her sleep."

Kill her in her sleep? My mind repeats Ji-ho's words, in my shock and disbelief. I think of either scampering to a hiding spot, or facing Ji-ho head on. Part of me wants to hide, while the other part wants to fight him. If I wished to break out of my hermit crab shell, then I should face him. If I wished for a higher chance of staying alive, I shouldn't. I choose to break out of my hermit crab shell, and face him. I stand, nearby the door, waiting for him to slide it open.

"Ji-ho, please don't." My mother pleads. I hear them both approaching my room, with my mother still asking for Ji-ho to stop, "Your father is going to kill you."

In another rude and disrespectful tone, Ji-ho retorts, "Do I look like I care about whether I die or not? As long as Myeong is dead, I will be happy, bitch. I don't care if I'm killed. It's not going to do anything anyways."

Then, the door slides open. I see Ji-ho, and he sees me. A blade is held within his hands. He lifts it, and points it directly towards me. I, with my best attempt, try not to tremble.

Behind him, I see my desperate mother, with gore dripping down her from her arms and legs. Because of the broken glass and whatever happened with Ji-ho that I couldn't see. Now it was harder for me to contain my trembling self. How could I not, with someone who was relentless stood in front of me? Right now, Ji-ho was just like my father.

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I finally got the chapter out! What do you guys think is going to happen now in the story? Also, would any of you like for me to add the word count at the bottom of every chapter or not?
PS: I am going to change the chapter's name, to something else. I just can't think of anything at this moment.
-Contrastgaze