1:30 AM TALKS

Chapter 4

MINERVA'S P.O.V

"Hi my name is Riley, what's yours?"

"Minerva..."

"I like that name."

"You should not be here."

He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Unfortunately that's true. I should go."

I stared at his eyes. It's one deep couple of eyes I loved the most. But I should let go. There's no reason why he should stick around. He doesn't belong in here. I don't belong with him.

"But...one thing." He turned around. "I like you."

***

"RILEY!!!"

I, half-alive, was trying to grab anything near me. I bit my lips too hardly it started bleeding. My head hit the wall. Pounding. Blurry. Headache. 

Unreal, again.

I looked at the clock on the wall in front of me. Exactly 1:30 AM. Devastated. It's been 2 years straight of having the same exact dream and conversation in it, with the same person, at the same time. It's torturing. I would like to just once, have a peaceful night and wake up at the time I've set my alarm on. But apparently he's too undeniable to deny.

Besides, yesterday at the store was quite frightening.

"Mirv, you okay? I heard you screaming." Elena knocked my door. Time check 1:43 AM.

I unlocked it. "Hmm. I'm okay. Thanks for checking. Just go back to sleep."

"No I can't." She sighed. 

"Oh sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Yes, and I have college stuff as well. Can I bring it here?"

"Sure."

Elena came back to her room to get her college works, then lied down in my bed. 

"That's a lot." I pony-tailed my hair.

"You have no idea." She sighed again. "What is it? Dream?"

"Again." I nodded. "Dammit Lena I can't get over it."

"Try to drink hot milk at night before you sleep. That might help."

I bowed my head. "And uh...they're here."

"What!?"

"Yeah at the store yesterday. All 3 of them."

"Include Riley?"

"Couldn't get any worse." I almost cried. "He told Shireen I'm looking familiar."

"What are they doing here, really? It's still way too far to go before tour starts. It's like a month from now. Unexpected." Elena shook her head. "You're...scared?"

"No reason to feel so, but yeah."

"Don't be, girl. You're right. No reason to feel so. He's just one artist. Too easy to handle."

"But how..."

"Want me to show you? Here's how."

Elena stood up facing my creative wall. Yes I took that side of my room wall with plenty of posters, and another ton of more cropped photos. I used to be a bit obsessed with this band. But it was like when I was 14, maybe 15. I used to be their biggest fan. To make it easier to guess, yes, my favorite was Riley. He helped me through a lot. Especially when few years ago our parents almost decided a divorce. When everything was too hard to handle, both Elena and I were trying to find our roots. Elena did a great job with her hangouts, most of times decided not to be home for a week. And me, I was holding myself onto music - and Before You Exit. So you might be confused, but I've probably known these dudes better, and way before you do. 

That led us to why I created this wall. I spent my whole week inventing this creative side of me. I puzzled Before You Exit band sign from their small cropped photos that I patiently did myself. With a lot of struggles that I didn't want to face outside this room, I did a tremendous job in a complete week. Yeah I meant it was a giant band sign - almost took a whole space of this wall. 

"This has to be taken off." Elena put down the posters.

"What are you doing?"

"I think you have him in your dreams constantly because you keep staring at this." 

"But..."

"What? Not willing to let go? Mirv, you choose, you want this to be over or stay as it is?"

"Over..." I said unsure. I was still too in love to let it go.

"But still too in love to let it go?" She gave the posters to me. 

"You read my mind."

"No. Because you're too easy to guess. Make up your mind. Otherwise no one could help you."

I stared at these posters. I had them all, from the oldest to the brand new. This was the unhealthy life I've been living. I really wanted to stop dreaming about him. But imagine not to have it anymore, I was scared as well. 

Probably that dream which caused me screaming at night was my only best companion after all.