How you get the girl

Chapter 31

Tw; Teeny tiny bit of self-harm, not rlly but kind of

(I just realised I forgot to put TW's for a couple of the chapters so imma go back through and do that now)

Midnight's perspective; 

I didn't sleep at all that night, either pacing my room or sitting on my bed with my head in my hands. Eventually I heard birds chirping and saw the sun peeking over the horizon and I let out a sigh of frustration. 

When I heard people moving and chatting, I decided that I couldn't rot in bed all day because that would make it worse, and so I went downstairs. 

"Hey Midnights," Folklore was sitting across from Poets sipping tea. "We were just talking about what we're going to do today, it's such lovely weather," 

"That's great," I mumbled, barely paying attention. "I'm going get some water," 

I walked into the kitchen and found Lover cooking bacon and eggs. 

"Hi Mid," She greeted. "Want some?" 

I shook my head, the smell of the food making my stomach turn uneasily. 

"...You feeling alright? You seem a bit off," 

"Yeah I'm fine, just a headache," I said, grabbing some Panadol and popping out two of the tiny miracle pills, dry swallowing them. 

"You should drink some water," She said. "Did you get any sleep?" 

"None of your goddamn business," I grabbed a cup and aggressively turned the tap on, filling it up and turning to move away. The cup slipped out of my grip, landing on the floor and cracking into pieces on the tiles. 

"Move outta the way," I mumbled to Lover, half pushing her out of the door with her bacon and eggs on a plate. 

Not thinking straight, instead of grabbing something to sweep it up with, I knelt down and started to pick the pieces of shattered glass into my hands. I paused for a second, inspecting the shining shards of destruction. 

I noticed a few beads of blood dripping from my hand, staring at it blankly. It didn't hurt. I just felt... Numb inside. 

What if I just...

I gripped the glass tighter, watching as deeper cuts started appearing on my palm and fingers. I still felt nothing, I could tell that the pain was there but yet I felt disconnected from my body, as though I was watching it happen from another's mind. As I opened my hand, I felt the sting of the glass disconnecting with my skin and falling to the floor, small drops of blood staining it a violent red. 

I pressed my other arm down onto the glass on the floor, watching with curiosity of how such tiny pieces of glass can cause so much harm, yet not entirely paying attention. The guilt and existential dread of what was to come over came me, and I then hastily let go and stood up.  

I swept up the glass and got rid of it, then abruptly grabbed a bottle of vodka and left, leaving no proof that I was ever there. 

Speak Now's perspective; 

Nobody had talked to me since I kissed Fearless, and I was getting really sad about it, before I decided to at least talk to Red. 

"Um, hi Red," I went up to her bed. 

"Hi Speak Now," she said without looking up. 

"Do you hate me?" I blurted out. 

"Why would I hate you?" She looked up at me. "You didn't cheat on me," 

"But you were my friend and now you haven't talked to me in ages," I said.

"Speak I don't have you," She laughed. "I just don't think that you made a very good decision, don't think that I hate you," 

"Okay," I smiled, biting down on my bottom lip which was trembling. 

"C'mere," Red stood up and I hugged her, crying quietly into her shoulder (Platonically bitches stfu). "Don't cry, you made a dumb choice but it'll be okay," 

"But I don't think I love Folklore anymore," I hadn't admitted it to myself yet, so I shocked myself by saying it out loud. 

"Hey, 'ts alright," She rubbed my back, then pulled away, sitting down, so I followed. "Don't feel bad for not loving her anymore," 

"I can't just not," I mumbled. 

"I know, I know," She said. "But, don't take this personally, I don't think she's forgiven you yet, so you don't have much to worry about," 

"I don't know whether that makes me feel worse or better," I admitted

"Maybe thats a good thing," She patted my back. 

Lover's perspective;

"Where's Midnights? Nobody has seen her since you said you left her sweeping up the glass?" Evermore asked me, after it had been a few minutes of sitting at the table eatinging dinner. 

"I'm not sure, she didn't seem entirely with it, so she might have gone back up to her room and gone to sleep," I shrugged. "You know her, she's practically nocturnal most of the time," 

"True, but still," Folklore chimed in. "Maybe you should check on her, she seems to open up to you," 

"Yeah maybe," I frowned, standing up. I put my plate in the sink, and then walked up the stairs, pausing outside her bedroom, which was disconcertingly quiet. 

"Mid? Midnights? Can I come in?" I knocked softly on the door, and there was no response, but I heard movement. 

I walked in and over to her bed, kneeling down beside her. She looked like she was mostly asleep, but I could tell that something was wrong, then my breath hitched as I noticed the empty bottle of alcohol discarded on top of the sheets. 

"Mid," I shook her gently to alert her of my presence. 

"Luvverr," She slurred sadly, noticing me. "I fuckkedd uppp," 

"I know," I said gently. "It's okay Mid," 

"No it's nod," She said, eyes misting over. "Nine is gonna h-atee me," Tears ran down from the corners of her eyes. 

"Shh, you can think about it in the morning," I wiped the tears away with my fingers, but they kept replenishing. 

"Noo I candd," She cried. "Why'm I like this?" 

"I don't know Mid," I said, moving her sweaty fringe out of her eyes. "I don't know," 

"The tears are in my ears, they feel cold," She hiccupped. "Ha, that rhymed," 

"Oh Midnights," I looked at her sadly, realising she wouldn't remember any of this conversation when the morning came. 

"Why're we so fucked uppp," She said. "Ids not fairrrr," She continued to ramble, getting riled up. "A-And I was doing so whell, I was so pr- proud," 

"Shhh, I know, it's not fair," I made her lay back down and began stroking her hair. "I know," I repeated while she kept talking, eventually running out of steam and laying without moving, crying until sleep overcame her. 

After making sure she was asleep, I walked back downstairs and met the others sitting on the couch. 

"Did you...?" 

"Yeah," Folklore smiled wearily. "You're good at that, I must admit,"

"Is she going to be okay?" Fearless asked worriedly.

"She will honey, she's just going through a rough patch at the moment," I assured her. "Are you okay Poets? You look lost in thought," 

"Uh yeah, just my mind drifted away, sorry," She shook her head. 

"Well I'm going to head to bed, I'm too tired to watch tv tonight," I headed back upstairs and got ready for bed. 

A/N; Whoopsie daisies