Reflections (Chapter two)

Lips.

I have become so vivid.
The way my eyes animate.
The fluid way Ive come to move.
I feel love within me.

You've seen light within me and I've grabbed ahold.
Desperate to hang onto something clean again.
Griping with all my might.
White knuckles.
Bloody palms.

I feel the urge once again to hold myself like no one else could.
With cold metal and a slow burn.
Finding my comfort within myself.
Has always been a hands on venture.

But I stay my hand.
Hold my beauty onto myself.
Find equal gifts in the burning skies.
Rainy days, rippled puddles.
Your eyes.

Finding a sense of belonging.
Wanting that which I can't have.
A fight with my sensibilities.
Split between.
Fun and love.
Stoic and alone.

I've become so dull.
When my head owns me more that my heart.
When everything I seek is rationalized away.
Self destruction and love.
Petty distractions from the goal.

But when love is the goal.
Where do I draw my line.
How deep must one dig.
To find answers within himself.

Maybe having these pills perched on my lips.
Have me thinking too clear.
Too straight and narrow.

My poems are too direct.
My soul ignited to burn.
For a fight long dead.

Where do I draw the line.
Between loving my inner child and keeping him safe.
In the battle for clarification.
I fear I've lost sight of the goal.

I need a muse.
Not something dark like me.
Not something warm like love.
Maybe something a little more gentle.

Maybe I'd find that in your lips?