The Girl Who Wanted to Wear Diapers

Chapter 26: The Only Other Option

I hated everything about going to the doctor.

I tried to avoid thinking about what this doctor's appointment was going to entail as I got ready for the day, but nothing I did was able to prevent my thoughts from drifting back to the subject.

There were the normal fears: needles, all the ways I'd be poked and prodded, the way that the general atmosphere of the hospital always seemed to unnerve me.

But there were also some fears that were specific to this occasion: I had successfully tricked my parents and older sister into believing that I was genuinely wetting the bed. But what would happen when my situation was examined by a professional? I had a sudden fear that they would be able to see right through the façade. Could there be something about the way I had gone about faking my bedwetting that would clue a doctor into the fact that it was all a lie?

The one good thing was that I wouldn't be needing to take those anti-bedwetting pills anymore. It shouldn't have taken as long as four days to convince Mom to give up on them, but when she got me out of bed this morning, the sight of different sheets than I had on the bed the night before was all the confirmation she needed that I had wet the bed and changed my sheets overnight.

I didn't bother with faking a headache this morning. And I didn't have an actual one, as I'd managed to fake taking the pills the night before.

I fiddled around with my breakfast as Mom focused on getting Jackson ready for his first day at his summer camp, sipping on a glass of orange juice while nibbling on a piece of toast with cinnamon butter on it. In the background, Mom was chasing Jackson around, prodding him to finish getting dressed and packed.

I wasn't normally all that enthusiastic about breakfast, but today, I didn't feel hungry at all. My stomach felt all jittery, and while the upcoming appointment was weighing heavily on my mind, it wasn't the only thing that was making me nervous. I was going to have to bring up the topic of pull-ups with my parents soon. I couldn't hold off for much longer, not if I wanted to avoid having the birthday sleepover get canceled.

I stared down at the kitchen table. There wasn't any way I could eat anymore. I went to dispose of my half-eaten breakfast. I dumped my half-piece of toast in the trash, but Mom caught sight of what I was doing before I could pour out the rest of my orange juice in the sink.

"Madelyn," Mom said. "You need to finish your orange juice."

I paused with the glass of orange juice held over the sink. "But I'm not thirsty."

"I poured a full glass for you because Dr. Mathorn said he wanted to make sure that you were hydrated for the appointment. Now, please finish it because we need to be out the door in a few minutes."

I retreated from the sink and finished the orange juice, as Mom had asked. Why would Dr. Mathorn care how much I had to drink for breakfast?

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It was a bit of a relief that we had to drop Jackson off first before we needed to be at the hospital for my appointment.

I sat in the car while Mom took Jackson inside to drop him off at his all-day summer daycare camp. I remembered the summers when I had been forced to do that every day. Sometimes, it had been fun. We took cool field trips to museums or amusement parks. But there had been plenty of other times when I had been forced to take part in group games or activities that I had no interest in. I'd rather be at the park playing soccer with my friends or curled up at home reading a book.

"We'll be at the hospital in about ten minutes," Mom said once she got back in the car. "It will be in plenty of time before your appointment."

The silence in the car as the ride to the hospital began was deafening. On any drive longer than a few minutes, Mom typically had music playing, usually from some musical. Today there wasn't anything coming out of the speakers.