DONT BLAME ME

Other People

~Hope POV~

I've been dragging the past few days, thoughts of Tess crowding my brain. Maybe she was right. Maybe I should go out with Ren. After all, my mom was right. Maybe, just maybe, I have to let it go.
~
Me: Hey Ren, can I come over?
Ren: My door is always open
Me: You're so sweet :) omw
~
I knocked cautiously on Rens front door. I've never been to her house, I was shaking in my boots. The door opened to a very beautiful, jet black, curly haired human. "Hi," Ren said nervously. I returned the nervous "Hi". Rens house was made up of a creamy chocolate, tan colored scheme, with a dash of pink. It was cute, normal.

"Hope, dad. Dad, Hope," Ren introduced me to Mr. Blake. "N-nice to meet you," my voice shuttered, as I shook his hand. Apparently Ren has mentioned my name quite often, because it was like he was giving me some kind of quiz on how to treat his daughter correctly. Men scare me.

Rens bedroom was decorated in all types of drawings, ones that she drew. "So art is your shtick?," I asked her curiously. She grinned, giving a slight nod. " I guess you could say I have a talent," we shared a laugh. It then fell silent...

"Soooo, I wanted to come talk you about something, and just hear me out," I said vaguely, walking towards her. "I know you have feelings for me," I stated. "Yes I do, what else?," Ren replied to me, leaving a shocked expression on my face. I was expecting her to lie. I don't know why. I looked at her with a gagged expression, full of emotion. "But you have feelings for Tess, right," Ren asked me as if she already knew the answer. I lied, "No. No I don't." I said sternly. Ren looked at me with hopeful eyes, "I- I like you Ren," I uttered unsure while taking a step forward. This earned me a big smile from Ren. I think deep down she knew I was lying. I needed to actually figure out if my feelings were accurate. More importantly, I needed to get over Tess.
I kissed Ren.

I haven't felt this good in a while. Kissing Ren made me feel light on my feet. I couldn't help but wonder if Tess' lips could make me feel the same.
——
I walked into the school building , I was frisson. It was as if my mind was looking for Ren but my heart had eyes on Tess. Soon enough, I was greeted. "Hi Hope," a soft voice spoke from behind me. I turned around, it was Tess. "Oh, hey", I replied. I didn't want to come off as a bitch but I think I did anyway. Tess started to ask how I was doing, just trying to make casual conversation. We are total strangers again. I interrupted her, "who is that," I questioned Tess, peeping around her. "My friends," Tess spoke sternly. There was a small group of humans behind her. I recognized them from lecture. "I didn't know you hung out with them," i continued, in a form of question. "Yeah well, you don't really occupy my time anymore and I don't occupy yours," she stated sharply, pointing to Ren who was waving at me in the distance. I walked away. She was trying to hard to mask how she felt, but all it did was hurt me.

I walked over to Ren. "Hey, you" I said giving Ren a small kiss on the cheek. "Hello love," Ren smiled at me. The way she said it was so innocent, gentle, sweet. In the back of my mind was me wondering if Tess could be the same way. I could feel my heart pounding, almost as much as I could feel my feelings for Ren increase. This was scary.

I've made it to class, realizing that Tess had switched seats with some random. She was being petty, but like I said before, pride is a dangerous game.
I met Ren for lunch. She wanted to make plans, but I've had a serious headache all day. I desperately needed sleep. After school let out, I walked Ren home only to the front door. I couldn't have her dad question me right now. Ren gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek. She said "you're perfect". No. No, I'm not. I'm thinking about Tess when my attention should be on Ren. "Catch ya later," I winked at her, waiting until she was fully indoors. I'm a mess, I hide it well.
——
I swooped past my mom who was in the kitchen with my after school snack. I didn't want it. I quickly went upstairs to my bedroom. I threw my belongings down in a far corner, sat on my bed, put my face in my hands, then began to cry. I was so emotionally exhausted.

"HOPE STARR," my mother yelled. I've been called three times to come downstairs to eat dinner. I guess now wasn't the time to have my mom up my ass. I marched downstairs, "Hey, I cooked your favo-," mom started excitedly but I cut her off. "-actually I'm not that hungry right now so I'll be back later," I sniffed. "Wait, have you been cryi-," she tried, before I slammed the front door on my way out.

All I did was cry. Cry and walk. I don't know why I was crying over someone who didn't even want me. Tess felt the same way, but she didn't want me. I want to get over Tess but I feel like I'm doing it the wrong way. The thought of the situation I was in filled up my head like a darkness. I walked to clear my mind. I walked so much I ended up at Rens house. Don't ask me how.

Mr. Blake let me in and up to her room. Thankfully we skipped twenty one questions. When Rens bedroom door creaked open, I paused, my face still wet from all the tears that lead me here. "Hope, are you okay?," a concerned tone overtook Rens voice. "I-I...," I trailed off, allowing me to take a few steps towards Ren.
My mind told me to stay frozen. My instincts were overshadowing. In this moment, I decided...Ren.