DONT BLAME ME

Checkmate

~Hope POV~

My mother knocks on my door, "Hope! Get up! The clock doesn't stop just because it's your last week of school," she hollered at me. So much fire in that woman. I've been awake for a while, just lying here. Not one movement, not one thought, just staring at the ceiling. It was like I was numb. I turned over to look at the clock, it's almost seven am. My alarm went off thirty-five minutes ago. I got up quickly and dressed myself for the day.

It had been a smooth going weekend for me. I stayed in so I didn't have to see anyone, and I think I actually tricked myself into believing that the situation I was in was completely over. When I walked through the front doors of the school, it was like every lie, fight, night of crying, everything I petitioned to forget came back. I headed straight to my locker, head down, zero interactions.

I turned around from grabbing my books only to be greeted by Ren. "What the-Ren! You scared me," I exclaimed. She laughed. "Haha sorry. Can I walk with you?," Ren asked me. "Uhh yeah, sure,".

"Over the weekend I did some thinking, you know, about you and I. While doing so, I received a significant piece of information. With that, it left me wanting to share it with an important person in my life...you," Ren said gently. She stopped me a few steps away from my classroom door. "I've gotten an offer for an internship to train with real artists, to become a real artist!," Ren exclaimed with an excited expression. I couldn't do anything but be happy for her. I was. "What! Ren! That's amazing! You're going to be great!," I said proudly. Ren then frowned. "Oh no, why the face?,"

"It's not just a summer thing. It's throughout senior year. Then I'll be taking over my mother's ownership," Ren spoke with a heavy heart.
"Oh. Wow. That's...," I trailed off. "Hope, I'm not going to take it," Ren spoke nervously. "What, why not?," I bugged my eyes at her. "I told you. You are important to me and I want to make us work," Ren took a step towards me, taking a hold  of my hands. She looked at me, almost as if she wanted me to tell her to stay. "Oops, there's the five minute bell. I gotta get in there, see ya later," I walked off quickly. "Hope, wait,".

"Ms. Starr, do you want detention for your last week?," Mr. Price was welcoming students at the door. "No sir," I said nervously. "Well, instead of being late, how about we get to work," he shooed me away to my seat. I gave a serious eye roll. I've never met a more assholish asshole than him.
"Class! This is the last week to turn in your work. I am giving you today to go over anything with your partner," he explained. I took my seat behind Tess but we worked separately. Tess and I didn't speak to one another throughout the whole day.
——
As I was walking home from school, the wind was crucial. The trees were swinging wildly, I saw cars slightly rocking back and forth, but I couldn't feel anything. I stopped. I realized that my hair was up. My. Hair. Was. Up.

I let my hair down. I felt the wind, I felt the wisp, I let it blow. Suddenly I thought about Tess, the kiss, the essay. I then thought about Ren, the dates, our feelings. I thought about laughs, the hugs, the love I have for both of them. This is different from the time I walked in the school. It was close to a migraine then, now there is less pressure.

I had finally made it home but to a different kind of welcome. I walked into the kitchen to see Tess and Mrs. Larou sitting at my kitchen table. "Hey mom, I'm ho-oh!," I was surprised. My eyes immediately darted to Tess then to my mother. "Mom. I didn't realize we were having them over," I said through my teeth. "Well, Tina made apple pie and had extra to share," mom smiled. "I told them to have dinner with us since she had already brought dessert,".

This was the most awkward dinner I have ever engaged in, and I was barely engaging. The four of us sat around my wooden white rounded kitchen table. My mom sat across from Mrs. Larou and I across from Tess. Served to us was Lasagna with celery, carrots, and of course apple pie.
During the meal it was quiet. Anyone barely said a word, until my mother decided to break the ice. "Tina I still can't believe you chose business administration over culinary school considering how amazing a cook you are. Not to mention you love it," my mom said in disbelief. "Chasing after the money instead of the dream, but I got my dream now so it's okay," Mrs Larou giggled, looking over at Tess who was still eating. I looked over at Tess myself. Yes, she was a dream.

"Girls, you can go upstairs while we clean up," my mom demanded. She basically told us to go upstairs and work out our issues, without telling us.
"Sorry my room is a mess, I've been busy," I explained.
"Hope, your room is always a mess," Tess said blandly. I didn't think she was going to speak to me. I was just playing this by ear.
"Fair enough," I huffed out a laugh. "Umm I didn't think you were talking to me," I said.
"I never said that," a stern tone came from Tess. "I said 'let your hair down in the wind' and it looks like you did," she snarked. I nodded in agreement.
"We both love you. So finish making your move. One of us has to get a checkmate,".
——
What if I didn't want to choose? I would lose Ren, but still have an awkward friendship with Tess. I could choose Ren and lose Tess or choose Tess and still lose Ren. It is quite literally the worst situation I've been put in. I've been thinking about what I should do for the past two days.

I walked in the school hallway, I saw Ren and Tess both walking towards me. I instantly turn the other way. How awkward, I can't even.
I took the longer way to class, but it didn't help because Ren caught up to me within minutes.
"Hey! I wanted to catch you to see if you wanted to talk about, you know...," she trailed off. No Ren, I don't know. "Umm I'm actually going to be late but maybe some other time," I quickly tried to turn around but she caught my arm. "Please Hope, it's important," she pleaded. "Okay," I said gently with a smile.

Ren came around my house around six pm. It was pouring rain. "Hey, you can go on up, I'll get us some water," I motioned her upstairs. I took a deep breath, looked at my mom and exhaled. She laughed at me. "Is she the expensive doll or the off brand," she raised an eyebrow. "Stick around and find out,". I headed up the steps.

"I put ice in yours, is tha-what are you doing?," I questioned Ren as I was surprised at her actions.
"What is this?," she asked me with watery eyes.
"Homework." I stated. "This love letter to Tess is homework?," her voice quivered.
"Why are you going through my things?," I spoke harshly. "It wasn't my intention, but I got the memo," she said emotionally. Ren walked out of my room, I followed her. She stopped once we reached the outside where it was still pouring rain. It hid our tears.

"Ren, why are you here?," I asked.
"Why am I- what do you mean why am I here? I'm here because you're my girlfriend, I'm here to fix our problem," she shouted gracefully.  "You know what, I was going to throw this whole thing away for you, just so you could confess your love for someone else." Ren exclaimed.
"I never asked you to consider turning down that internship," I said. "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO! I did it because I fucking love you Hope," she expressed. I stood, shocked. She loves me.
"And I know you feel the same so please...choose me," Ren took a few steps toward me to take a hold of my hands. We were soaking wet.
"Hope, I'm done playing this game. You either choose me or I swear I'm never coming back," Ren spoke in a calm tone.

I looked into Ren's eyes for a good moment. I admired her beautiful jet black hair, hazel eyes, the freckled pattern across her nose and the rose colored gloss. I pulled my hands back, gave her a saddened smile, and started back towards the door. I left her standing as I walked away.

I stopped at the threshold of the door. I turned around once more to say "Checkmate".