How did we end up like this?

Chapter 2

Tris POV:

"What the hell is that, Tris? You aren't hurting yourself, are you?" His cold, stony eyes make me shrink.

"You have no right to ask that, Four. And for the record, I am not, nor will I ever, self harm. You broke up with me, so stop acting like you care about anything that I've been through. You were so quick to jump to conclusions about what you thought happened and you were too cowardly to wait for me to open up to you in my own time. I hate you. Get the hell away from me." The ugly, horrible amount of word vomit I just spilled somehow gave me a little closure.

"You want attention. I don't care what happened to you. You can't be self harming and making yourself the victim, b*tch."

I gasp as angry, hot tears start to spill down my cheeks. How dare he speak to me like that.

"I am not self harming. How dare you call me that. You were so afraid that you would turn into that monster, Marcus. What happened to that fear?"

His mouth curls into a smirk. One of hatred. I don't know where my Tobias has gone but I do not recognize the person in front of me. He takes a step toward me, snapping the strap of my bikini top menacingly. I feel scared, like he will hurt me. Physically.

"I know something happened. I know what you did, sl-t. I will never forgive you." Sl*t. He called me that. He knows what happened. He knows what was taken from me and he blames me. I start to hyperventilate. 

I take giant, heaving breaths and try to steady myself but I can feel the panic arising. I'm having a panic attack. 

I slide down the wall as the world around me starts to spin and all I can do is sit there and sob and wait. Wait until I can see without wanting it to end. Four takes a step forward. For a second, I feel as if he is going to apologize to me as he stoops down, just enough to whisper in my ear. "You deserved it." The words ring in my ears as I fade in and out of consciousness. 

—— Time skip ——-

I wake up to a pounding headache. I blink as I attempt to take in my surroundings. Dark sky. Stars. A salty smell. A light breeze. Goosebumps litter my skin and I stand up. For a second I feel like throwing up, because I thought that my clothes were missing. 

That it had happened again. I touch my chest and hips, feeling for at least my undergarments. I feel my swimsuit and I sigh in relief as I remember. Four might hate me but he wouldn't rape me, would he? I scoff, angry at myself for even thinking that. But I need to be prepared for the worst. 

Slowly, I stagger back to the room, grab my things, and enter the bathroom. I strip off my clothes and relax my tense muscles as the hot water hits my back. I lather the soap in my hair and on my body, and just after I rinse off, the door opens. 

I blink, slowly, not believing what I see. Four. Why do I always run into him in awkward situations? He looks at me weirdly, like he didn't expect me to be in here, even thought the lights were on. I cover myself to the best of my ability, hoping that he would leave.I feel uncomfortable, but not disgusted like I would if it were any other person. But something changes in his eyes has he stares at my eyes. He's fuming, I can tell. 

I am frozen in fear as he walks towards me. Im afraid that he will hurt me, even though I am aware that he is probably repulsed by my body and wouldn't want to touch it anyways. 

I begin to shake. Shudders run through my body and I feel as if I am being shocked. I can't stop shaking and shaking and I think I am leaning against the wall as I shake and shake and shake. Shudder after shudder. Tear after tear. Sob after sob. Memories of that night haunt my mind, and I want it to end. I wish I could do that. I wish I had their courage to leave but I am too selfish.