How did we end up like this?

Chapter 3

Hey guys so I lied. I am updating today!! Idk why, but I felt like it lol.I'll give you guys a Tobias POV soon.

Tris POV: 

In. Out. In. Out. My breath makes puffs in the bitter morning air. I am not cold because I have been running for the past 1 and a half hour. Non stop. I forgot to pack water. And food. My lungs burn, my legs ache, and really all I want to do is collapse in my own, private bed. So I do the next best thing. I go for a swim.

On my run, I found a beautiful cliff that overlooked a small beach. It was perfect for swimming, with aqua marine waters and clear skies. I begin my hike down, shielding my eyes with my hands because the sun had risen and it was glaring down on me.

The leaves crunch under my tennis shoes with each step, the beach getting closer and closer. I realize that eventually, at around 11 Am or so, I will have to return to the cottage in case we have something planned. I quicken my pace. 

——— time skipppp———

The cool water soothes my heated back. I dive under as a wave crashes on top of me. Swimming like this, all alone, would normally make me feel bad because, well, I'm lonely as hell. But this feels different. Like I don't need anyone to be there for me in order to enjoy life. 

Who am I kidding. I hate life, though it's the little moments like these that really make me question my suicide attempts. Yes, I attempted right after the incident. I failed. Tobias saved me, though he doesn't know it. 

He may hate me but I could never hate him because deep down I still love him, and I owe him for saving my life. I was about to down the pills when he texted me one phrase. 

I love you. 

He used to tell me that randomly, as if I needed to be reminded of his love. What a sick joke. I wish he hadn't sent that text that day. I wish I had swallowed those pills. 

With a jolt I realize that I've been underwater for about a minuet now. My lungs scream for air and my head pound with lack of oxygen. I rise up to the surface, taking big, long and hard breaths. 

Why didn't you just stay under?, the voice in my head asks me.

I don't have an answer. 

Slowly, I turn so I am floating on the surface of the water. I feel weightless. I enjoy the sensation. Loud chatter in the background brings me to my senses and I quickly swim back to the shore, grabbing my towel and packing my stuff. I dry off quickly. I wrap my towel strategically around my body as to hide the marks that paint my skin and I trek all the way back to the cottage. 

I hadn't realized that I ran so far. I am about to give up, after 30 minuets of walking and getting nowhere, when I hear familiar voices in the bushes behind me. 

I turn slowly, to see Zeke and Four, in their swimming trunks, laughing and talking animatedly. I feel a pang go through my heart because I am not the one making him smile like that anymore. How they haven't seen me yet is a mystery in itself, but one that I am grateful for. 

My phone rings. 

Loudly, may I add.

SHIT! It's Caleb. 

"FU—"

I realize too late of my mistake. I said that out loud. I curse again and pick up the phone. 

"Hey Cal. This is really not the best time so could you call me back later?"

"Hey Bea, you piece of diarrhea. I was just calling in to check on my lovely little sister!"