Your eternal lies - ENHYPEN

36. Care

We got back from Jay's house and went to sit in the kitchen. I was standing next to the kitchen counter as I was boiling some water for my tea. I really enjoyed drinking tea before going to bed. It calmed down my thoughts. "I could help you with that," Sunghoon spoke as he handed me a cup. I nodded as I put some hot water in it. "I can make my own tea you know." I smiled softly. "I know you can." I smiled back at him before grabbing my cup and placing it aside so it could cool off a bit.

"Thank you for bringing me to Jay. He leaned down on the kitchen counter as he looked at me. His jet-black hair fell in front of his eyes effortlessly. His hair was messy and his cardigan matched his hair perfectly. Things I liked very much. "I was worried about you and I needed to know that you were okay." He spoke. I knew he was still worried about the infection getting worse, and so was I. I could literally die if it got any worse, but I decided to try and stay optimistic. No time to think about dying. "Thanks for caring," I spoke softly while putting both my hands around my tea cup, warming up my cold fingertips.

"Maybe it isn't the right time to be asking you this. But do you and Jay have something romantically going on?" I started laughing as he asked me that. I can understand where he's coming from, Jay and I did have some secret chats and things going on but none of them had to do with romance. His cheeks started to burn as he lowered his head to look at the kitchen counter. I walked over to him slowly, making sure my leg wasn't hurting as much.

As I made it to him I placed both my hands on his cheeks and made him look at me. "Jay and I are not romantically involved. One wife is probably enough for him."I joked. Sunghoon grabbed my wrist as he made eye contact with me. "You know how I feel about you, but I can't help but think you do not feel the same way." He sighs. His eyes had a slight concern in them, which was only visible when he met my eye. I wasn't sure what to tell him.

I was afraid Jungwon was able to hear what I was going to say to him. Before I confessed my feelings for Sunghoon, I needed to have a chat with him. It would only be fair to him if I let him know first. Because I was staring at Sunghoon, I hadn't noticed how close we actually were to each other. I was able to feel his breath on my skin and I couldn't help but stare down at his lips.  At his beautiful soft lips. As I noticed what I did, I looked back up into those beautiful brown eyes. Only to see he too was looking down at mine. 

The urge to kiss him was definitely there. I wanted to get close to him, confirm my feelings for him and tell him how much I cared. It just wasn't the right time. Sunghoons hand went from my wrist to the back of my head and I felt a spark through my entire body. I closed my eyes as I focussed on his hand that was now on the back of my head, pulling me toward him slowly.

I was weak. So weak I wasn't able to pull back from him and wait. I couldn't wait. I let him pull me closer as our lips met. Again, sparks went through my entire body. He deepened the kiss as his other hand grabbed my waist pulling me in closer.

I let him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, making my way into his hair and brushing through it softly. A small sound escaped his lips as he lifted me up onto the kitchen counter, placing both his hands on my waist to remove all the space left between us.

Maybe it wasn't right to be wanting this, or to be doing this right now when I knew there was someone else still waiting for my answer. I just couldn't resist him anymore. Sunghoon started to kiss his way down my neck. I let my head fall back as he did. I had a view of the entire dining room from here as I saw him standing there watching us.

"Jung," I said as I pushed Sunghoon away slightly while getting off the counter. He looked at us as tears filled his eyes. He didn't say anything as he started to walk away. I had to fix this. This was exactly what I was afraid of. I ran after him and followed him up to his room. "Jung, wait," I yelled as I entered the room after him. "Couldn't you tell me first?" He said trying to hold back his tears. He put both his hands on top of his knees as he leaned forward. He looked defeated. "I am so sorry. I-" Jungwon looked away from me as he held one hand up. "I do not want to hear it. Please leave my room." He said, still avoiding my gaze.

My heart broke a little as I saw him standing there. He looked so helpless and sad and it was all my fault. "I'm so sorry," I said as my eyes filled with tears as well. Guilt washed over me as I looked at his broken expression. I'm such a bad person.

Jungwon pov

I heard someone in the kitchen as I made my way down the stairs. Maybe Mae and Sunghoon got back from Jay. I heard they went over there to check up on Mae's leg. I really hope she was doing okay. We needed to have some alone time soon. I felt like I hadn't been able to see her as much as I would like becasue work has kept me busy.

I had looked through her mother's file and found some really interesting information about upcoming attacks that Salvatore was planning. I didn't know her mom but I knew she was a smart and caring woman. Who made sure her daughter was safe.

As I entered the dining room I looked around the room. I did hear some weird noises but I wasn't able to see anyone. As I made my way further into the room I glanced over to the kitchen, where the noise seemed to come from. My stomach dropped as I watched Mae kissing Sunghoon. He lifted her up the kitchen counter and she let him. She let him touch her waist, let him kiss her neck.

I was stupid to believe she would ever care about me this way. I really felt like we had a connection. I care for her deeply. Why didn't she just tell me how she felt? We could've talked about it. I would've understood her decision. Now all I felt was hurt.

I couldn't look away, I just wasn't able to. I seemed to be in some kind of shock. I watched him kiss for a little while longer until Mae made eyecontact with me. "Jung..."She spoke, her voice full of regret. Normally, I would've pulled my emotions aside and talked to her or tried to understand her point of view, but I wasn't able to get the image out of my mind.

I love her. I love this girl deeply and she had not only chosen to be with someone else, but she was making out with him in front of me. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. Sunghoon looked over his shoulder as he saw me. Even he had a slightly painful expression on his face as he looked at me.

I didn't want to be here any longer so I decided to go up to my room and think. I know I'll forgive her. I'll always forgive her. She's my weakness. My head started to pound as I thought about the fact she was just kissing Sunghoon. I leaned my arms on my knees as I tried to focus on my headache. "I am so sorry I-" I know she meant well, but I wasn't able to hear what she had to say right now. I needed some time to accept that I had no chance with her.

"I do not want to hear it. Please leave my room." I wanted to sound understanding but the words came out harshly. She looked at me for a brief second before she turned around to leave. "I'm so sorry."