Your eternal lies - ENHYPEN

38. Regret

I was looking through my clothes because it was starting to get colder outside. I wanted to store away my summer and spring clothes and make more room for the colder outfits. I had already put my summer stuff away and was starting to unpack most of my fall and winter clothes. Carefully folding my sweaters. "I come to bring a peace offering." I looked at the door to my closet and saw Jungwon standing in the opening holding a beautiful bouquet of white roses.

"Aren't I supposed to bring you a peace offering?"I said as I finished folding the sweater I was holding and walking up to him. "I'm the one who made this mess," I said as I accepted the bouquet. "That doesn't mean I haven't made mistakes along the way." He said as he leaned against the closet door. "I do think we should talk about it." He put both his hands into his pockets as he stared at me. I nodded at him, knowing this conversation wasn't going to be pretty.

I placed the roses into a vase and sat down on the bed, signing for Jung to join me. He didn't hesitate and sat down next to me. There was an awkward tension between us. One that hasn't been there before. We both smiled because of this feeling and looked away from each other shortly after. I just wasn't able to look at him after what I did. "I'm sorry I kissed Sunghoon without talking to you first." I started. Knowing that I had to apologise properly for what happened. "I'm not proud of it." Jungoon looked back at me and gave me a sad smile.

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I think I always knew you liked him more."He sighed as he looked at his fingers. "There has just always been this bit of hope." I smiled back at him and nodded. I understand because I was the one who kept giving him this sort of hope. I was giving mixed signals this whole time. That was because I didn't know what I was feeling.

"I think we do have a connection though." Jung looked up at me as his eyes met mine. "Just not on a romantic level." My mom used to tell me about soulmates. They don't have to be someone who's in a relationship with you, so I always thought Sunoo was mine. Until I met Jungwon. Fair to say Jung and I are platonic soulmates.

I care for him deeply but I'm not attracted to him romantically. That's why I was so confused with the entire situation. Because I felt the same way toward Sunghoon, however, the attraction was different. I explained this to Jung and he kept nodding, giving me the impression he understood.

"I feel the same way. I care for you deeply Mea." I smiled at him as I held out an arm. Inviting him to hug me. He accepted and hugged me tightly. "I love you," Jungwon said as he hugged me even tighter than before. I smiled as I continued to hug him. It felt amazing to be close to him. He still feels like home to me. This familiar feeling I have with him and the emotions I feel when he's around will never change. I care for him deeply. "I love you too, Jung."

As we let go of the hug we started to catch up on other things happening in our life. Jung asked me about my leg and my mom and I explained how I felt about the entire situation. "I love that your mom was still trying to take care of you, even when we took you in." I smiled. "I do too." My mom literally was the best mom ever. however, I think Jungwon's mother was a strong second.

"I think we should do a memorial. To honor your mom." He said clearly proud of his idea. I loved the idea so much. I wish I was able to tell him how excited I was, but I had to act like it wasn't the right time because I would love for Niki to be able to attend. So we need to do this after we killed my father.

"What do you think?" "I'd love to, but I don't think it's the right moment for that right now," I said honestly, hoping he wouldn't ask me why. "I understand, things like this can be quite intense."Thank god he is so understanding. I'd hate it if he asked me why "Thanks for understanding." He stood up from the bed and held out his hand to me. "how about we go and get something to drink?" He smiled down at me.