mission 404 ✅

.2.

~

Two years passed from that moment.

It was a cold evening, Dream was currently lying in bed, wearing one of George's old hoodies, hugging a pillow with tears in his eyes as held his phone in his other hand looking at the lock screen. There was a picture of him and George smiling, looking happy in general.

 crazy how things can change so fast. Once, that same picture used to bring him joy.

He half smiled while tears were still flowing out of his eyes. The pictures were the only thing that brought him joy, but soon after the joy was gone it hurt like shit again.

Those pictures were like a drug to him.

 The last two years were more than miserable for Dream. For the past two years, George's death haunted him everywhere he went and everywhere he was, he tried and tried to forget the man he loved dearly but it never seemed to work.

Dream's heart was weak and after George's death, it just got worse. 

He didn't want to live anymore, he saw his life as a burden he had to carry.

 He wanted to kill himself, end his suffering and maybe be reunited with George in the afterlife if it was a thing.

It probably would've been better if he killed himself, he would stop being a burden to his friends.

He wanted to end his sufferings so fucking badly, and the only three things that'll help him were drugs, alcohol and death.

He never tried drugs and alcohol? He didn't like just how little he'll stop his pain, the moment when his pain was gone felt great, but he hated the aftermath. He would feel even worse afterwards.

Such a strange concept.

And death's permanent, and it would end all of his suffering, it would probably make his friends sad, but they'll get over it soon enough.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried to take his life, no, he did multiple times as well, but something always had to be wrong, each time he tried to kill himself somehow someone always found out. Once he even got admitted to a psych ward.

Those shitholes caused more trauma than they solved.

Even though two years passed since George's death, talking about him was still too painful for Dream, and He hated it, he would start to tear up every time he was mentioned and the person he would be talking to would just give him this damn pitiful look that Dream hated. At one point, Dream just started to put on a fake smile and acted like he was completely fine and his life was all cupcakes and rainbows again, he also started to act like he moved on but that was nowhere near the truth. He did that just for people to stop giving him that god-awful look.

In front of his friends, Dream always puts on a smile and says that he's fine and now they don't bring George's death up as much. 

But it seems like Sapnap and Karl know, it's like they've always known since Dream started acting that way. They were trying to help Dream actually move on. But that never works. Sometimes they just set Dream up on blind dates, but they always ended horribly wrong or other times where they just tell Dream it's ok to not be over George, in which case Dream would smile and tell them to stop as if they were all joking.

He didn't know why they did this and a part of him wanted it to stop, especially those blind dates, but to him, it also felt nice having people care about him this way even if they could exaggerate.

His friends have been Dream's biggest support system throughout the two years. He is really grateful for them but he just feels like their attempts are and always will be useless.