TW: Mentioning of Suicide & Selfharm
Anxiety
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Emilys POV
"Emily, wait." I hear JJ's voice behind me.
I stop, wipe the tears from my face that the topic of marriage has brought on, and turn to the door where JJ is standing, one hand on the handle, the other on the doorframe.
She looks at me with a mixture of excitement and concern.
"JJ, please. I can't talk about it right now, I can't..." I begin, fighting against the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes.
"She's awake." JJ interrupts me and an uncertain smile appears on her lips.
My eyes widen in surprise and my heart seems to stumble at this news.
For a moment I feel dizzy, I'm so relieved by this news.
She's awake.
It's as if a heavy stone has fallen from my soul and as if my body needs a moment to function without this weight of worry.
"Really?"
I ask and take JJ's hands in mine.
I couldn't bear it if I entered the room and continued to see an unconscious, unresponsive Y/N.
"Yes, Emily. Really. She's awake.
She's a little upset and probably overwhelmed, but she's awake."
JJ explains, squeezing my hands lovingly while tears swim in her eyes.
"Does... she want... does she want to see me?"
I ask hesitantly and bite my lower lip.
Nervousness bubbles up inside me.
I've prayed for this moment for so long and now?
What if she doesn't want to see me.
JJ looks at me intensely, then smiles understandingly.
"I'm sure she wants to see you.
Talk to her, tell her how much you love her. That's all she needs to hear right now."
JJ says quietly and a sad shadow falls over her face for a brief moment.
Before I can say anything, she smiles away the shadow and nods encouragingly at me.
I take a deep breath, sigh out my nervousness and squeeze JJ's hands tightly before I straighten my shirt and shake my hair out of my face.
A few doctors come out of the room, push past us and nod silently to both of us, then the way is clear.
I slowly enter the blue hospital room and my heart is pounding in my throat as I walk a little unsteadily towards the bed where I have sat and prayed so often.
When I see Y/N, tears come to my eyes again and my lower lip starts to tremble.
She has closed her eyes, but the ventilator tube has disappeared from her pretty face and the monotonous humming has stopped.
She looks so peaceful, relaxed and almost carefree, just like all the nights when she slept next to me and didn't have a nightmare.
Only the large Bandaid on her forehead and the hospital fleece jacket reveal that she is not just sleeping peacefully at home.
I sink down on the edge of her bed and look at her for a moment, taking in this peaceful sight and feeling how a part of my heart begins to heal as I look at the love of my life.
I gather all my courage and reach out my hand to hers.
When I take her hand, she opens her eyes.
They are red and swollen, as if she had been crying for a long time and the look she gives me is difficult to interpret.
"Hey Em..." she breathes in a hoarse, scratchy voice and squeezes my hand almost imperceptibly.
Tears roll down my cheeks and a quiet sob falls from my lips when I hear her voice.
She is really awake.
She's alive.
"Hey, my love." I answer with a trembling voice and raise her hand to place a kiss on the back of her hand.
A faint smile dances around the corners of her mouth and her eyes flash briefly, like they used to when she beamed at me with love.
YOU ARE READING
I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)
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