Rise (Loki Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

Terra moved as slowly as possible to disentangle herself from Loki's hold. She crept to the bathroom, locked the door, turned on the water. The water pressure was always high and the shower always loud. For once, she was glad for it. She dropped her clothes on the cold tile and stepped into the lukewarm water. It pounded on her skin as she sank to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest. Her head fell to rest on them.

It had been so hard to remember. The way her mother had whined and groaned and cried out. The way her father had murmured encouragement and just kept telling her "breathe, just breathe."

Terra hadn't understood. It wasn't supposed to be painful, it wasn't supposed to be scary. But they weren't going to make it and something started... Coming out of her. There was blood on it and her mother was screaming, oh God, why was she screaming?

They'd swerved. It was her fault. She remembered trying to wipe it all away, to make it disappear and then the screams weren't just her mother's.

There were sirens and shouting and someone was crying. People were crying.

Why couldn't she remember it? Why didn't she remember all this?

"Terra?"

She wasn't supposed to look. She wasn't supposed to open her eyes because the blood would scare her. Not hers, not mom's, not daddy's... Who was bleeding? Who was screaming?

"Terra!"

She gripped her head and closed her eyes and tried, tried to bring it back to mind. What did she do?

What did you do now, Terra? What did you do?

"Terra!"

And just like that it was gone. A black hole where her memory should have been and it was just... Gone. She stood slowly, pulled the curtain back a little bit. "Yeah?"

Loki stood on the other side, one hand holding the door open, the other about to grab the curtain. He stepped back. "You were... Sobbing and... What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. Sorry, I'll be right out." She pulled the curtain closed again and grabbed the soap.

Less than ten minutes later, she was waiting for the eggs to finish boiling while the phone rang. She tapped her finger on the counter, hoping they would answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Daddy!"

Loki looked up at her from the table. He sipped his coffee and watched her curiously. She moved to the balcony and shut the door.

"Hey, little bird! Wow, a call in the morning, this is new. What's up?"

She pulled herself up onto the railing. "I have a question." He hummed for her to go ahead. "Do you remember when I was little and we got in a car accident? All three of us?" He was quiet. Her mother was in the background, asking if it was her on the phone. "Daddy?"

"Um... No. Sorry, I was trying to think. You and me got in a little fender bender once but it wasn't anything bad. Why?"

"Huh. I had a nightmare again, worse than usual. But it was like... Like we were in a car and mom was hurt. And then we crashed, but it felt so real. I thought maybe..."

"Maybe it had happened? No, nothing like that ever happened. Sorry, sweetheart. You gonna be okay?"

She nodded though he couldn't see her. "Yeah. Yeah, when am I not?" It was a half-hearted laugh mixed with false assurances but it was enough. She ended the call with a murmured "love you too" and a sigh. She slid her feet to the ground and turned to face the bustling city below.