Everything gets quieter at night. The dark greedily swallows up the world, cloaking the ugliness of daytime. In the quiet, the only thing you can hear are the thoughts inside your own brain, tingling, lulling you to sleep only to come back in the shape of a dream. In dreams, everything gets softer, including the dreamers themselves. They become harmless, something to protect. The sleeping girl in my arms was soft and protected. I hoped her dreams were sweet; I doubted it. Pansy was crying in her sleep, clinging to me tightly.
They say you get what you pay for, but that isn't true, the world isn't fair like that. This mentality was a staple in my household, meticulously imprinted on me and my siblings by my parents. It stings knowing they were right. Pansy, crying in my arms, heartbroken, deserved so much better. I was scared she was not going to be able to see that. More so, I was scared that this was not going to be the last time Draco would hurt her. It's complicated to love others and to pick sides between two people you love. Yes, we maybe shouldn't have intoxicated Terrence, but a bit of fun never had long-term consequences.
Today I didn't only make one of my classmates fall in love with another. I witnessed something as well. My professor was not who he was deemed to be but Barty Crouch Jr, a known Death Eater who was supposed to be in Azkaban, sent away by his own father. I wondered how he got out of that hellhole. Barty was obviously using a Polyjuice Potion to change his appearance and he convinced Dumbledore that he was Alastor Moody. But how did he win a fight against the real Professor Moody? Where is Professor Moody now? Last time I checked, Barty didn't have a longing to become a teacher. He was up to something, something that had to do with Voldemort. There just wasn't another explanation. Was this why Mattheo was at Hogwarts? Somehow I had hoped Mattheo just entered school because he needed a good education. but I couldn't be so naive. There was something going on between Barty and Mattheo. Mattheo never explicitly denied being involved in a conspiracy with Barty. Maybe he was even the one in charge of whatever that was going on. The strangest part about all of this was that he looked conflicted, as if he was being forced to be here and do things against his will. I wasn't sure if I should report all of this to Dumbledore. He wasn't fond of me, and I tried avoiding him as much as possible. The guilt I felt was stronger than ever. If I did tell our headmaster about Mattheo, the Death Eaters, the real identity of our DADA professor, and the resurrection potion, my parents along with those of all my friends would go straight to Azkaban. Would Dumbledore even believe me? Voldemort was dead for almost 15 years. He has tried to come back before but failed thanks to Harry Potter and his golden trio. But telling Dumbledore was too big of a risk. We also didn't see him that often because of the approaching tournament.
Ever since I gave my blood to that potion, I haven't felt like myself anymore. Like I don't fit anymore. Something inside me shifted, got shaken up. At my initiation, I got tortured for almost an hour to then later be used to resurrect the most evil man who ever lived. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw dead people, dead people at the World Cup. It made me sick. Feeling like an impostor for being involved. I was promised to Mattheo. They were going to keep me alive until we married. More people would die. The worst part was that Mattheo was right, that night in the graveyard. I didn't care about others, not anymore. I had changed since that night. Maybe my not caring about other people than my friends and family was a trauma response or maybe I really was sick in the head. Betty, the old lady from the shop, saw it too. Foretelling about the rise of the Dark Lord and a key? It hurt me in my soul to know that I was becoming what I despised. I wondered if my siblings felt the same way. Julian had been overly protective over me ever since my introduction, maybe he sensed something was off. I hoped he didn't
My life had changed, but so did the lives of many others. It sucked looking back at what I had. I am still convinced that the dark side was awful but how was I any different from them? I didn't know anymore. There was a storm approaching the Wizarding World, one that would change all of our lives forever. My family wasn't going to be safe in the long run. We wouldn't have real freedom when Voldemort would return.
A wave of fatigue swept through me. Worrying late at night is really tiring. It was probably already past the witching hour. Pansy was still clinging to me but had stopped crying. I was going to protect her. I tried to calm down and clear my head. That night I didn't dream of anything at all.
author's note: Hey everyone! So first of all thank you for reading this story, it means a lot! Then I would like to say that this chapter is a bit different from the rest but don't worry, this was just a little insight into y/n's head. It will go back to normal.
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Slytherins queen to be - Mattheo Riddle
RomanceY/n Malfoy finds out that she is in an arranged marriage with Mattheo Riddle. She hates Voldemort and his followers but can't do anything about the engagement. Y/n gets more and more involved with the dark lord and gets forced to do a part of his bi...
