Playing with Fire | Yuzuru Hanyu

64. Recovery

The road to improve the state of his ankle turned out to be bumpy.

Yuzuru had always been an athlete who preferred treatment in Japan but when it came to this particular thing, he wanted Aria close more than he insisted on Japanese Doctors.

Well, he did get Japanese doctors in Canada, but he still managed to stay close to her.

His mother would smile everytime the conversation arose between the couple in her presence. Her son never did hide how much he wanted to be with Aria and it was as cute as it was inspiring.

Seeing him grow so much and for once, not dwell on the fact that it was unlikely that he would get a full recovery.

One thing that everyone around him knew was how much he considered things.

Aria often found him icing his foot while writing all sorts of different protocols on a small notepad.

"What are you doing?" she once asked him, breaking the state of clear focus.

"Calculating scores and trying to predict my layout for the Olympics."

"You don't know yet?"

It was then that she heard about his doubts for the very first time. How Yuzuru predicted that his injury would be too severe for him to go to the Games in full health and how he seemed to now be focusing on finding the best strategy to still get the wanted medal.

His focus could almost be seen as obsessive but Aria never expected anything less from him. It was no coincidence that he had so much success in the sport and worked so hard for his goals.

During the hard road to recovery, Aria slowly realized how powerful his ability to focus was. He did every single thing that the doctors recommended and tried every possible solution.

There was also his mental image training. 

The very first time that she noticed him in the middle of the living room, earphones in his ears, eyes closed and arms moving gracefully, she couldn't really understand what was going on. Aria actually sat on the opposite couch, watching him for a good half an hour without a single word. It was fascinating, whatever he was doing.

When he opened his eyes and noticed her eyes on him, Yuzuru's face slowly turned into a smile, curiously looking at her with wonder.

"What are you doing?" he asked almost right away,

"Curious, I was about to ask you the same"

On that day, he slowly and patiently explained the concept of mental training and how he imagined his programs and pretended to be skating. It made sense eventually and Aria truly marveled at how easily he could overcome the very big challenge of not being able to skate.

Each small thing she discovered about this man only made her admire and love him more. Yuzuru was incredible in every single thing he placed effort into.

If there was anyone in the world who could make such a miraculous comeback and somehow manage that Gold medal, it was him.

Every day of the recovery counted. Every small effort would hopefully be rewarded in the end.

Aria couldn't wait for the day that he would final reach that podium.

Right now, nothing was easy, even if sometimes it looked like he was doing everything without any struggles. He kept a lot of his doubts to himself but Aria seemed to have an ability to make him comfortable enough to talk.

And they did.

Every night spent in bed, Yuzuru confessed his doubts and they only increased as time passed without much improvement. His initial confidence slowly faded as he realized just how tight they were on time and how difficult it would be to get back on the ice and get enough time to prepare.

Missing nationals was also something that bothered him, not necessarily because he enjoyed the competition but rather because he was immediately faced with hate. 

When you were in a position like he was, it was only natural to have haters. But well, when people started assuming that he was faking the whole thing, he was more than hurt.

The sudden need to prove himself was more than clear. For a while, Aria almost feared that he would fly to Japan and skate in the current state. Maybe he would have if his mom wasn't constantly there and reminding him of the end goal.

Aria could never be that figure in his life, authoritative enough to remind him of what was ahead. As much as she enjoyed the power in bed, outside of it, she was almost like an angel.

"Yuzuru needs your support in other things. Let me have the task of placing him in line." his mother said once. It was funny, obviously, but it didn't mean that she enjoyed the powerlessness of this particular thing.

Still, just 4 weeks before the big competition, when he was finally cleared to skate again, she realized that all of those nights in bed, talking about the most random of doubts in his head would be almost as crucial as his mother's presence.

There was no mistake that it wasn't easy. Yuzuru's return to the ice was painful to watch.

As much as she believed in him, it was hard to ignore all the lingering doubts when the date was so damn close.

Still, as he always did, Yuzuru raised his head high when the time to travel to Korea came. it didn't matter that he hadn't even landed some of his quads in practice.

Whatever awaited him at that Olympic venue, one thing they were both very certain of.

Yuzuru would always give 100%.