no turning back

• twenty five •

gladys

Elijah had never been so vulnerable around me. He was always hard and unreadable on the exterior, like he wore a shield to block everyone out.

When I mentioned leaving him, his shield fell apart. He was too lost in his distress to care about being tough and untouchable. As much as I hated seeing him in pain, seeing the man beneath the armored exterior was a breath of fresh air.

I could leave him if I fought hard enough. He was vulnerable and willing to comply with my demands more than he ever had. While my intention was to flee at the first moment of freedom, his confession caught me off guard. Even if I was unable to love him again, I didn't have the heart to leave him like that.

Was death all it took for him to realize that my life wasn't a game? That I wasn't on this earth to be his puppet?

I wasn't sure. He sounded genuine, but there was no way to know if he truly did love me. Only his actions over time would tell.

Nevertheless, his vulnerability in this moment meant too much for me to question his words. I loved him too much to run away when he was finally willing to soften his heart.

The fact that I wasn't running did frighten me, though. Our time apart gave me time and distance to reflect on how naive I'd been in the beginning. I was much too willing and eager to earn his attention, affection, and protection for my own good.

I thought that I'd be wiser now, that I wouldn't crumple under his control and seductive tendencies. I was stronger than before, but my consideration for him knew no bounds. That made me just as vulnerable as him—and probably stupid, too.

Despite myself, I didn't intend to fold to his desires or commands so easily. He would be the one begging for me, from now on.

"I can kill him, if you'd prefer," he said, regarding his employment of Brant.

I clenched my teeth and rolled my eyes. "Did you already forget my conditions? No killing anyone I love, care about, or associate with."

His expression hardened. "For having killed your cousin, you care about him a lot."

"Well, you killed my parents and I'm stupid enough to negotiate with you, so that's not saying much."

"You're not stupid," he hissed. "Never degrade yourself in that way again."

Knowing it was better not to protest, I sighed. "I don't want you to kill him. He should have to live with what he did." I rubbed my eyes, grumbling, "But that doesn't mean I want to see him every day."

"I've been blackmailing him into working for me," he said. "Since Raman offed Aaron, I needed a new right hand. I don't trust anyone with my matters unless I have leverage to keep them in check. He was the most optimal candidate at the time."

My brain reeled with this information. "Aaron's dead?"

He nodded. "He deserved that and worse for testifying against me. Betrayal is unforgivable in this life."

This life.

"You're still running the mafia," I realized.

I should have known as much with all the stalking and kidnapping going on, but I only realized now that I had naively hoped otherwise. He wouldn't have fled Georgia after fulfilling his probation terms if he intended to take up a legal career.

"There is no other way for me," he said, studying my face.

"Of course there is. What about your accounting firm? You could just open a new one."