Friends? Or lovers?

Pt. 64 nothing

Me and phillips continued talking

When mom died he barely had any memory of her

I mean he was only around 5 or 6 years old so most wouldn't remember a lot then

Not to mention his mind completely shut out memories of moms death because it was too traumatic for him

So he really had no idea who mom was

"Can you explain her to me y/n?" He asks softly

"Mhm, she was an amazing person she loved yoh and me with all of her heart Jordan"

"You know that black bottle of floral perfume I have? It was hers she always smelled like roses, she was very unserious and would find the upside in every situation, she had a smile that even when I was mad at her made me feel happy. And she always spoiled us, dad always told us we couldn't have a lot of sugar so what she would do is after baseball she'd secretly took us for ice cream and said that it was our little secret. We did that every Saturday until you accidentally told dad" we both chuckle

"She was kind caring funny beautiful. And she always had hobbies I mean you could make millions of lists if she told you every hobby she had, she loved doing art and so me you and her would do stuff like finger painting. She was the best mom I could have asked for and I know you didn't know her but you loved her just as much as me" I pause

"I just wish she lived long enough for you to figure that out" I feel a tear run down my cheek as I wipe it away

Me and Jordan hug and I show him some of the photo albums I had

After that we went our separate ways and he went to his room leaving me in my room

"Man do I miss you mom" I whisper as I see a picture of her smiling holding me

I put away the photo albums and went downstairs to my kitchen

I start making myself some Mack and cheese when I hear the doorbell ring

*who could that be?* I ponder

I walk to the door and open it

No one's there I see a envelope on the porch

I turn looking around before picking up the envelope and closing the door

"Who was it?" Jordan asks walking down the stairs

"I don't know they left this, ooo it's for me" i say excited that I got mail

I walk back into the kitchen and continue making my food

Jordan sits at the island tee talk about normal stuff

"Do you want some?" I ask putting some Mack and cheese into a bowl

"Sure" I grab a second bowl

We both eat and then I make Jordan wash the dishes after we finished

"So are you going to open the envelope?" He asks eagerly glancing front the envelope then back to me

"Fine since your soooo curious I will" I pick it up and start breaking the seal with my finger

I open the envelope and pull out a letter

It was from Kacy *huh weird*

I open it and it says

Dear y/n, Im sorry

*sorry for what?*

I continued reading

Dear y/n, Im sorry
If your reading this then I really did do it and I'm not here anymore, now I hope you found this letter in my room afterwards maybe because you were just trying to remember me

I really hope you didn't find it when cleaning out my room but either way I need to tell you..

You are my best friend in life you always have been

Ever since we were three we couldn't be separated longer than two days. Now this summer changed and I missed you so much I can't deny that

I tried filling the empty space that you left when we started drifting but I couldn't because you are one of a kind

I know I'm mostly the reason we started drifting so don't blame yourself. But I needed to tell you everything that I was sorry about before this happens

And please J hope you know that what I'm about to do has nothing to do with you. It was not caused by you and there was no way you could have stopped me so don't go destroying yourself by cluttering your mind with all overthinking thoughts

Don't grieve me for long if I'm not here next week please instead love your life how we would have done just think that I'm there with you and you aren't alone okay?

You don't need me and I truly believe that life won't change in anybody's perspective if I died which is why I need to write this letter

In case I'm wrong I need to tell the three people I live or loved most how much they meant to me and how what I'm doing isn't their fault.

Now I'll say it one last time I'm sorry y/n Jane Phillips and I love you

Sincerely Kacy

"Oh my" Jordan's jaw drops a little

"Wow I didn't even know she wrote this, I guess she had planned that incident" I say softly

I continuously scanned over the page again and again

repeatedly reading the words in little sections and snippets

'I'm sorry'

'I love you y/n'

'You are my best friend'

'Don't grieve me for to long'

I slammed the letter on the table folding it in half and stormed off to my room

Jordan tried following but I slammed my bedroom door in his face

I cried alone in my room for hours

My eyes became puffy and red along with my face

And I didn't notice but I soon cried so much that I could only go to sleep to stop the crying

So after hours I soon fell silent into slumber still thinking of the letter

997 words

Hey y'all if you have any feedback please leave it here

I like this chapter well minus the heart aching letter

Ok that's all I love y'all so much byeeeeeeee :)