taste of desire - woosan

48. leave

"i don't hate you" yunho said, kicking small rocks as they walked together, a bit away from the others.

"well you don't like me either" wooyoung grumbled. if he was being honest, yunho intimidated him. he hadn't had the best experiences with him, all he got were glares and yunho muttering negative things under his breath.

yunho didn't respond and continued to kick the rocks. wooyoung just didn't get it, what could he have possibly done that rubbed yunho the wrong way?

"you don't have to like me" wooyoung sighed, "but we should at least be cordial with each other".

yunho turned to wooyoung and arched an eyebrow, "why should we?". wooyoung stared at him stunned, "wha-? it makes everyone feel awkward" he replied, stuttering slightly "and, i never did anything to you" wooyoung muttered the last part under his breath.

yunho shrugged, "that's not my problem" he continued to walk on and wooyoung had every intention on walking back to the group and giving up on yunho. wooyoung had dealt with difficult people before, it was inevitable considering his line of work, but this was different. he wasn't working so he didn't have to act professional.

but yunho was san's closest friend for some reason and wooyoung wanted to try to get along with yunho for san's sake.

"what did i do to you? why do you dislike me so much?" wooyoung grabbed onto yunho's arm, stopping him from walking any further.

he felt yunho tense up from under his grip. yunho clenched his jaw as he glanced down at wooyoung's hand on his arm. he shook it off with a slight irritation, "you didn't do anything to me" he said simply, leaving wooyoung more confused.

"that doesn't make sense" wooyoung argued, "how can you not like someone even if they haven't done anything to you?".

yunho turned around to face wooyoung, "what are your intentions with san?" he questioned, making wooyoung frown, "my intentions?".

"yeah," yunho said firmly, his eyes locked on wooyoung's. "what are you planning with him?"

wooyoung's frown deepened. "i don't know what you're getting at. san and I are just...friends."

yunho raised an eyebrow skeptically. "are you sure about that?". wooyoung gulped, yunho was looking at him like he knew something, but he couldn't, right? no one knew anything, minus the stuff wooyoung told yeosang.

"yes" wooyoung affirmed, his gaze drifting away from yunho. he heard yunho scoff, "you think you're smart, huh?". wooyoung looked back up at him, puzzled, "what are you talking abou-?".

"i saw you two" yunho interrupted, "the first time in the car, you were holding hands, and then last night on the balcony". wooyoung's eyes widened and he took a step back.

"you sure you're still friends?" yunho stepped closer to wooyoung. wooyoung's mind raced as he tried to formulate a response, there was nothing that he could think of that would convince yunho that there wasn't anything going on between them because there just wasn't. because friends don't act the way wooyoung and san act with each other.

"we... we're just..." wooyoung stuttered, his thoughts a jumbled mess. he couldn't bring himself to admit the truth, not yet.

"san's not ready for a relationship so don't pursue anything further with him" yunho stated, almost in a warning way, like he was threatening wooyoung.

"do you like him?" wooyoung blurted out before thinking, causing yunho to burst out laughing.

"that's a good one" yunho said after he calmed down, "san is my friend, he's family to me which is why i'm telling you that whatever you have going on with san, you have to stop. he just got out of a relationship, do you really think he's ready for something new after being with jiyeon for four years?".

wooyoung looked at yunho, surprised. four years? he was well aware of san's sudden break up with jiyeon but he assumed there relationship wasn't that serious, but four years? this new piece of information made wooyoung question san's feelings for him, what if he really was just a rebound?

yunho sighed after seeing wooyoung's reaction, "if you saw him a few weeks ago when things got really bad with jiyeon, you'd understand why i'm telling you this. i care about san a lot and he's changed a ton since he met you. but i don't want you holding onto false hope. he's not the type to lead people on but he definately doesn't just randomly start liking people either".

wooyoung absorbed yunho's words, feeling a mixture of emotions swirling inside him. doubt, confusion, and a tinge of hurt clouded his thoughts.

"so, you're saying he doesn't like me?" wooyoung finally asked, his voice sounding smaller than he intended.

yunho looked at wooyoung for a moment, "i don't know. i can't say for sure because san doesn't open up to me anymore. hell, he kept you a secret for a while". wooyoung blinked, he didn't know what to think. should he trust yunho? it seemed that yunho knew san the best out of his friends.

"i thought that acting cold would push you away but you seem like the stubborn type" yunho continued, "you and san can do whatever you want, but don't say i didn't warn you if both of you end up hurt".

yunho walked past wooyoung, back to where the group was, leaving wooyoung alone with his thoughts. wooyoung liked san, but did san like him or was san using him? wooyoung couldn't even fathom how san was able to come out of such a long relationship and immediately attach himself to wooyoung.

wooyoung felt a pang in his heart and tears flood his eyes, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know if he would be able to face san after this.

"i love you, wooyoung"

san had a way of saying things like he truly meant them and usually wooyoung believed that san truly meant it. he just couldn't get his conversation with yunho out of his head. so he lied, he told san that he didn't mean his confession in the forest, that everything between them was a mistake.

and it hurt, that's why wooyoung couldn't look at san. he knew that the second he looked at san, he'd break down and take back everything he said. wooyoung liked san but he didn't want to be the second option.

"i love you, i'm in love with you. i know everything with us was sudden, but i know my feelings. it's you, it's only you wooyoung".

san was in love with him, but was he really? he must've said the same thing to jiyeon before.

wooyoung could feel how fast san's heart was beating, san still had wooyoung's hand placed on his chest. it was all too much, wooyoung heart screamed at him to fall into san's arms but with yunho's words in his mind, he stopped himself. he had to, he was too scared to fall in deeper with san and make things more complicated.

"let go of me, san" wooyoung whispered. san only tightened his grip and shook his head, "you didn't mean it, right?" san croaked, his voice breaking as tears continued to stream down his face.

"san..." wooyoung trailed off.

"if you want me to leave you alone, look at me and say it. i won't believe you until you say it to my face".

wooyoung slowly raised his head to make his eyes meet san's. did he want san to go? no, he didn't. he didn't want what he and san have to end. his feelings may not be as strong as san's yet but he wanted to keep san around, he wanted to be with san.

and that's what he should've said to san.

"do you want me to leave?" san asked softly, fragile thread hanging between them.

wooyoung took a deep breath and maintained eye contact with san, hating himself for what he was about to do.

"...yes".