random things in lowercase letters

a diabetic child

the other day, i went to the doctor to get me checked if i was diabetic. i told her i had this wound from 5 years ago that still hasn't been cured; it was still fresh and hurting from time to time. she pricked the pointy needle into my skin until it reached my veins. the doctor told me to close my eyes and endure it a little bit, but i said it was okay. the sting is nothing compared to the pain i felt since i learned how cruel and fatal reality is. when the result came out, she told me i wasn't diabetic. and maybe, i was just tired of working all day; no, my work doesn't really make me tired; it was the thoughts that kept on circling around my head. therefore, it was the reason i was always exhausted. and i got the blurry visions of constantly macking my temple onto the wall of my bedroom just to fight the demon inside me.

"show me your wound," she told me in her most gentle and soft voice.

i said, "i can't show it to you, but i can describe every detail on how excruciatingly painful it is and where exactly did i get this. it was coming inside my chest. and i didn't know that an invisible wound was much more terribly painful than a cut i got from a knife that i used to cut ties with people."