T's & C's (don't) Apply

14. (Don't) Call During Working Hours

I watched my phone ring until the call turned into a missed call. In the past, I felt guilty for missing my mom's calls but as time passed, I had to do it for my peace. I wasn't estranged from my family but we weren't The Brady Bunch either. 

My mom thought we were very close and that moving away from home wasn't the smartest choice. My dad was opposed to me moving out and when I finally mustered up the courage to do so, he stopped talking to me. 

Anxiety crept up on me just by the mere reminiscence of the past so I pushed aside those thoughts and decided to distract myself with work. However, throughout the day, my phone kept ringing and by the end of the day, I had no choice but to talk to her. 

I sat in my car in the underground carpark, took a deep breath, and called her back. My heart sped as the phone rang and I hoped she was busy and couldn't have answered. 

"Where are you, Clover?" My mom said without a greeting. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all day. It could've been an emergency and you only call back now." 

"Is it an emergency?" I spoke coolly. "Is something wrong? Did something happen?" 

"No and don't jinx anything either," Mom replied. "I told you that whatever you put into the universe, you get out so stop being so negative about everything."

"But you just..." I trailed off and knew trying to reason with my mother was as good as talking to a wall. "What can I do for you, Mom?" 

"We haven't talked in ages, Darling, I wanted to see how you were doing," Mom switched her tone. "Ever since you moved out, it feels as if you've forgotten your family." 

"Work keeps me busy," I replied dryly. 

"Do you work every second of every day?" 

"It feels like that. In my free time, I try to catch up on sleep." 

"Yet you still have time to date," Mom muttered softly but I heard. 

"If you're calling to taunt and judge me then I'm hanging up. I'm not in the mood to fight you today, Mom." 

"There you go raising your voice," Mom picked up on my exasperated tone. "No respect or care for the woman who raised you." 

I was close to hanging up but if I did that, I wouldn't have heard the end of it, and worse, my sister would've listened to her sermon until she found something else to complain about. 

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to raise my voice," I apologised to keep the peace. "I'm about to leave work now so if there's nothing important to discuss, can I call you back later?"  

"I know you won't call back," Mom said. "I'm calling to remind you that your father's fiftieth birthday is next month. He doesn't want much except for his family around." 

"Do I still count as that?" I muttered more to myself. 

"You left us and not the other way around, remember that." 

"I didn't leave, I only moved out to make a life for myself," I clarified for what felt like the millionth time. 

For as long as I remember, my parents made me feel guilty about moving out. No matter how much I explained that there wasn't much for me in the countryside and living under their roof was the worst thing for my mental health, they accused me of being a selfish, bad daughter.

"While making a life for yourself, you forget those who gave you life," My mother typically remarked. 

"I'm not forgetting anyone..." I trailed off and rubbed my temples. If there was anyone who added to my anxiety, it was my mother.