TMF Incorrect quotes pt.9 💛💜

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Jander edition :3

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Zander: You know....
Jake: Mhm?
Zander: I've been thinking of you lately.
Jake, blushing slightly: W-wait really-?
Zander: Yeah.
Jake: Zander I've also been-
Zander: Not good things though.
Jake: *sigh* Of course-

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Jake, holding a rock: Do you guys like my new pet rock?
Luke: It's....really nice, Jake...!
Jake, smiling: Guess his name.
Zander: If it's Rocco, Mr. Rock or Rocky you're getting kicked out of the music club.
Jake: How did you know-?
Zander: You're predictable.
Jake: Do I really have to leave the club?
Zander: Shove it down your throat then.
Jake: *moving the rock towards his mouth*
Luke: JAKE NO. DON'T DO IT-

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Jake: Do you wanna make out?
Zander: Do you want to die?
Jake: Okay okay chill-
Zander: Jeez....

Jake: How about we have sex then?
Zander: I'm getting a restraining order against you.
Jake: You're no fun.
Zander: And you're literally suggesting this while your mom is sleeping across the hall-
Jake: It's not like you have to moan so loudly, Christopher Colombus will be revived or shit like that-
Zander: ....this is why people hate you!
Jake: So is that a-
Zander: *trows a pillow at Jake* Good night asshole-
Jake: I'm your asshole though.
Zander: I said good night so shut it.

(If u know the context ily and am questioning ur sanity at the same time-)

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Jake: What's something that would make you happy?
Zander: The feeling I'll get when you die.
Jake: Oh....-
Zander: And Drew dying in a car crash.
Jake: ....that's not-
Zander: And maybe Hailey getting kicked out of the house.
Jake: ....

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Jake: Hey Zander?
Zander: Yeah?
Jake: What's better than 69?
Zander, thinking: Hmm....88.
Jake, confused: Huh, why?
Zander: Because you get it twice.
Jake, speechless: ....I think I'll go take a nap-

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Hailey, talking to Zander: If you were stuck on a deserted island and you had to take only one member of the music club with you, who would it be?
Zander: Jake.
Jake: Wait what-
Milly: I thought it was gonna be Luke-
Luke and Sean: Same-
Jake: Why me-?
Zander: Because I could use you as shark bait or food for any unexpected cannibals.
Everyone but Zander: I should've seen that coming-

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