Don't ever scare me like that. [Kimmy ♡ X.borg] MLBB

i give up

mentions of s-h, mental breakdowns, abuse, attempted unalive, vent, and me being edgy and emo or whatever

you've read the title, I give up, like forreal now.

I was so excited to finish this goddamn story since this has been a passion of mine since 2021, but this year has turned out shit for me and i have no clue if I wanna continue writing, at ALL.

completing this fanfic has been on my new years revolution, but I've lost all motivation for it and I'm getting so fucking angry

as I said earlier, this year was not meant for me, it started off bad and its getting worse day by day.

I got my reports card, it was decent if I say so myself, I got A's and B's. yet I still got called a disappointment, my dad told me if I didn't get straight A's then I'll work as a fucking maid.

nothing wrong with working as a maid, my mom is a maid herself. yet my dad uses that as a way to bring me down.

a massive fight happened and I haven't talked to him. but that took a huge toll on me and I regularly have mental breakdowns and cry myself to sleep

it got worse and I started harming myself as well

mind you, I'm not a fucking pussy, getting yelled at for my reports card is a normal thing for me. but my dad has been emotionally abusing me for the past 4 or 5 months now (well, i got emotionally and physically abused for years now, but this is when it gets too far), and that was the last straw

I've attempted suicide (like a year ago?) multiple times before via overdosing but got caught once so all pills and whatnot are locked up (not anymore but my family still keeps close eyes on me)

I don't even know why they cared enough to lock them up, they've told me to kill myself before, and how me not being here wouldn't  make a difference, so why did they care when I actually attempted.

that's not all, my close friends have started acting like dickheads as well, I love my friends, I really do, they're the only ones I have irl. but they started breaking some crucial boundaries of mine and its annoying as fuck

my boundaries are not that complicated, just let me have my privacy and stop poking around my fucking phone. its that simple and easy

some people might say that this was the best year for them, but it's not for me. I enjoyed 2020 more than any other year, I met some cool online friends, I learned some manners and decency, I learned how to respect people, and my online friends even taught me first aid stuff, it was cool.

all in all, I've just had a rough year and it's slowly making me lose all my energy and motivation and now I don't even think I can continue this kimborg fanfic. I already have a few chapters written out but honestly, I have no idea if I wanna pursue this anymore. probably in the future where I'm in a better mental state and position, but for now, it's done.

Thank you for following my journey on this fanfiction. It might come back, and it might not. That's for future me to decide.

ps. if ur one of my irls (a friend of mine, or even my brother and cousin) don't ever fucking mention this announcement to me. if you've read it, then you've read it. don't talk to me about this, don't ask me any questions about this, don't even try commenting on this. thanks