Before The End

Spirals

Nazeera

The Omega Point group begins to clean up the mess they made. Not sure what the initial argument was about but they seem to have gotten over it. Castle is overlooking them as they tidy, an entertaining sight to see.

I enjoy the stillness of everything right now and how Kenji's arm cloaks around me. Last night, all I felt was mortification.

I didn't like the look on Kenji's face, the devastation in his eyes when I explained. I know that it shouldn't but it still made me feel guilty.
After the smoke cleared and Kenji tried talking to me, helping me, I was annoyed with myself.

I suck in a breath.
Truly thinking about my actions makes me more mad. At myself. At my life. At many things.
I have a lot of misplaced anger.
It rages inside of me, it always has, like a simmering flame. Constantly awaiting its release.

Perhaps that's why the heat on my skin burns down the spiral of thoughts that cage my mind.
Fight fire with fire.

Maybe I'm-

"Nazeera."

Kenji's voice brings me out of my head
I lift my head to look at him. He smiles, a soft sweet smile that makes me grin too.
He leans in closer and asks me,
"If I went invisible and threw things around for them to clean, would they realise?"

What. I blink, stare at Kenji's face.
Sincerely hope he's joking.
"Yes, I think they would realise if an object is floating. It's not a normal thing." I reply.

He shrugs, "yeah, I should just throw a visible object at Adam."

I nod while chuckling quietly and Kenji kisses the side of my head.
Ella calls out our names to help.
There's paper all over the floor?
And we're the group of people that are now in charge of the world.
How fitting.
"We're good. Have fun with that J." Kenji shouts back.

Ella sticks out her tongue and Warner runs up behind her to capture her in an embrace. They're pretty cute, he's even smiling widely enough to see his dimples.

I look up at Kenji again and pause.
Wondering if he was being serious before or just saying something to get my thoughts to calm.
He realises I'm staring and raises an eyebrow.
I don't stop from bringing my lips to his. A long, savoury kiss with my hands in his hair.
I'm not that concerned that we're not alone, it's not that foreign to me anymore.

Or concerned that Ella very loudly exclaims "OOOH!"
————————————————————

"That doesn't make any sense, J." Kenji rubs a hand over his face while Ella facepalms her forehead.

"It does, Kenji. Do you not have an imagination?"

Night has fallen, and it's a cheery time.
Everyone's mood has subtlety brightened since Ella woke up. Well that's why I think.
That's the effect of someone like her, a happy hopeful presence.

Kenji and Ella certainly know how to provide the show part of a dinner. They've been talking the whole time, I understand why they're best friends.

I drop my fork, neatly align it with my plate, I think I've had enough to eat for now.
Shouldn't be having that much anyways, especially since I already have a few too many pounds to spare.

"Love, if you're done conversing with this fool, you should get some sleep." Warner says to Ella.
"You're still not as physically strong."

"Aaron." Ella sighs, turning to her fiancé and now they're whispering to each other. I don't assume any of it is innocent.

With my back leaned against the chair, I face the man on my right to get my mind off of dinner. Kenji makes an annoyed expression, gesturing to the couple in front of us.

"Do you see what I have to put up with?" He crosses his arms,
"They're like high schoolers learning about their new 'changing bodies'."

I stifle my laugh and Kenji grins.
"I wonder if you ever actually think before speaking Kishimoto." Warner scowls.

"I don't believe Kenji has the ability to think, actually." I click my tongue.

Kenji's mouth falls open, 
"That's just uncool Naz. You're supposed to be on MY team."

"Honesty is the best policy."
Kenji makes a broken heart with his hands and I shrug.

"Nazeera." Ella taps my arm, pulls me out of the seat. I follow her out the dining tent which leaves the other two scrambling after us.

She leads me to the edge of a sort of cliff, one that hangs over a graveyard. The battle at the Sanctuary had many innocent casualties that I'm sure still haunt the rest of the Sanctuary today.
As if on time, lanterns light up the surrounding area, illuminating the dirt where civilians lay.

On one of the corners, there's a single gravestone. Not too far from everyone else to look isolated, but far enough that you would notice it from a distance.

The name reads: Emmaline Sommers, in bold letters.
One of the first things Ella did after waking, was giving her sister a proper resting place and finding a suitable epitaph.

I turn to Ella, an obvious amount of emotion spiraling in her eyes. I give her hand a squeeze, not really knowing how to comfort her.

Grief was an alien emotion to me. Up until now.
I've learnt that it is an agonising feeling. It creeps up on you when you least expect it, never actually leaving you alone. Hiding within the shadows, to mock what you've lost.
To relish your pain.

It's especially hard when you grieve for someone who doesn't deserve it. There's an added guilt and shame.

I clear my throat, block the feeling.
A very depressing way to end an overall okay day.

I hear Ella sniffle then exhale a sigh.
She gives me a small sad smile, which I return.
Warner and Kenji have been lingering behind us the whole time, and Warner of course goes to hug Ella.

I've decided I have had enough of my daily dose of emotion for today.
I bid them a good night, move to go.
Get anywhere but here.

Kenji reaches me mere seconds later.
Automatically, my hand searches for his.
He hums a soft tune, a song I'm not familiar with.
But it's nice, and I focus on that.

However, I can't help sensing a stickiness in my body.  Or the prickles rising up my throat.

The 'what if's' that center around Emmaline barricade my head.
What if I found out everything about her before?
Would she have lived?

Then unexpected thoughts of my dad pop up.
...
Suddenly I'm 6 again, and I'm playing with his swords.
He's teaching me how to use them, and I'm practicing my techniques.
Then my head takes me to Oceania where-

I inhale a sharp breath, quickly take a look around the place. My room isn't that far and I need it to stop.

Kenjis still humming, and I try listening to that.
The same song, he hasn't changed.
He must like that song.

I reach my door faster when I see it coming up. Right now I need relief.

"You know what?" Kenji locks the door,  as I head to my dresser and grab some clothes.
"We should really actually-"

I spin to him, clear my throat.
He's inspecting something on his shoe,
"What's...up?" He looks confused until I blurt out the words.

"I need to take a shower."

Kenji stops. I stop.
The insinuation of my words creates a tense atmosphere.

His eyes widen and I shake my head.
"No, I just feel like I smell bad."

I'm the biggest liar.

"You don't smell bad?"
He stands and walks over to me as I pull the bathroom door handle.
I shrug,
"You can never be too careful."

"Wait-"