HIS MISTAKE(2nd BOOK) | 18+ BL(BOYS LOVE)

SIXTY NINE : NICK

I sat in my car as I took a long breath.
"Breathe Breathe goddammit Breathe",I scream as I feel unable to breathe properly.
He hasn't seen him for 5 months now?
Where is Warren?
"Where are you Warren?",I whisper quietly.
What if he is with someone else?
I told him to date anyone,did he really did that?
Is he in someone else's arm right now?
My breathing hitches as I got down from my car as I tried to breathe.

Is he in love with someone else?
It's been five months,he must've moved on right?
My tears won't stop and my chest won't stop hurting.
"WARREN",I whisper quietly.
I sit on the ground against the car as my chest aches and aches and aches.
I don't know how many hours have passed.
"Nothings gonna happen if you sit and cry here",Shepherd voice comes beside me.
I open my eyes as I saw him looking down at me.

"Did you Called him?",I whisper.
"I did but that number doesn't exists anymore",he says and I stood up quickly.
"What do you mean?"
"Yes I called him in March,I guess,I called him 6 times but everytime it said the number doesn't exists anymore",he says as my head aches,every fucking thing in my body aches.
I quickly take out my phone as I called his number.
Yes,I still kept his number I don't know I just couldn't delete his number.

"Why are you calling him? Even if that number happens to exist,what are you gonna say to him?",he asks.
I think and think and think and all I could think was saying him those words,"I...I....that...I...",I try to say.
"CALL him or meet him when you can actually say out those words loudly",he says and he left.
I called his number and it says it doesn't exists.
Why did you change your number?
I sat in my car and rolled down the window as I tried to breathe.

I went home as mom called for dinner.
I sat and stared at the food.
He Loves Food,I remember how much he likes to nagging and how he used to nitpick on me and used to giggle at me.
After four months,now my heart feels warm but it still aches.
I must've been staring at food,"You are supposed to eat too",Nea says flatly.
I look up at her but she isn't looking at me,she is serving herself,but when did she come home?
Does she knows anything about Warren?
They both are best friends.
I said mean things to her,what the fuck was wrong with me?

"I'm sorry",I whisper.
She looks up at me but doesn't say anything.
She just eats her food.
Mom comes out of the kitchen,"What's wrong?",she asks as I shake my head.
"Why aren't you eating?",Mom asks.
I look at the food again,if Warren would've been here,then he would've devoured it.
"What's wrong son? You are crying",Mom says her voice panicking.
I look up to see Mom and Nea watching me as I shake my head and I tried to eat,I swear I tried but I can't eat,I don't feel hungry.
"Son?"
"Nothing Mom",I say as I got up and went upstairs to my room.
I know they are staring at me but I want to be alone or I want to be with.....with Warren.
I close my eyes,tried to sleep but all night I kept on remembering the things we used to do together.

I remember how he used to say 'I love you' every now and then,how much he loved me and what I did? Shoving him away from my life.
What was wrong with me?
How did some strangers POV mattered to me more than his?
What if he really is in love with someone else?
Why the fuck won't the aching stops?

ONE MONTH LATER
"Sir,you are not listening",my PA whispers in my ear.
I'm sitting in a goddamn meeting,people are saying things to me and I'm not even listening.
"Did you listen?",I ask him as he nods.
"Then explain it to me later",I tell him as I got up and went outside while everyone were staring at me.
Because I'm the damn boss,I should be the one who should be listening but here I am unable to listen or talk.
"Sir,in this month this is the 8th time you are walking out in the middle of the meeting,you know that profit is the last thing that's happening in the whole building and you fired 5 employees too",he says quietly.
"Besides you are not YOU anymore",he says and I glare at him.
"Instead of studying me,go do your job",I tell in a calm voice,he nods immediately and runs away.

"Fuuuuuucckkkkk",I scream when I arrive at the parking lot.
My eyes burns,I can't do this anymore,I can't live.....without him anymore,I don't want to.
"Why aren't you coming back? WHY ARE YOU NOT COMING BACK?",I scream as my lungs hurts.
I sit in my car as I ride back to home.
I open my door and shut it,I go to take a bath.
After that I stand there in front of the mirror looking at myself.
I look pale,almost like some patient,my eyes so red because I can't sleep,I look thinner because I can't eat.

I remember how he used to wrap me in his arms while kissing the back of my head again and again.
I smile but nothing is changing.
Here I am all alone after throwing him out of my life.
Here I am missing him crazily.
Here I am unable to say those words out loudly for him.
Here I am crying like a baby.

Is this how it hurt him?
"Nick",I hear dad's voice coming from downstairs.
I quickly got outside,got dressed and went downstairs.
"Yes Dad?",I say quietly.
"What's wrong with you?",he yells as I stared down looking at my legs,which nowadays feels weak to even take a step.