The Catalyst To My Goodbye

16 Minutes After Midnight

I'm sad tonight-
I haven't been sad in a while,
I thought I was recovering,
I guess I was wrong.

Tonight I seemed to find myself,
With a soaking face,
The bags under my eyes,
Are slowly turning a darker shade of purple,
With each new hour,
And the pores of my skin,
Are becoming water-logged.

I don't know whether to feel concern or indifference,
When I am met with an odd sense of insult,
As my digital clock becomes symmetrical;
Two noughts on either side of that little colon.

I don't know why I'm sad,
But I feel evil after announcing my current predicament,
To so-called friends,
A reply of carelessness and vague annoyance came ten minutes later,
I don't know what I was expecting.

I've never quite experienced before,
In all my life,
What I experienced moments ago;
Having a blank expression,
And moving my hand to rub my tired eyes,
Only to find drenched skin.

My eyes are sore and my throat is dry,
My body is weak,
And I am overwhelmed by some disappointment that my own poem doesn't rhyme,
I guess that's at least something I'm used to;
Being disappointed, but not surprised.

My head seems to be out of sync with my life,
Because I cannot think,
I cannot make correct decisions,
And I cannot seem to allow myself to be happy for more than a couple of heartbeats.