Twisted Turnaround

Chapter 25

MILES

"Andrea?" I call out in the silence of our bedroom a few days later. It's been almost a week since our gender reveal party—a gathering really. Andrea and I had found out that we were having a girl, and it was so nice to see the excitement on her face. On mine as well. I was glad that in that moment, all I felt toward the baby was excitement. I'd have a baby girl. That was so exciting for me to genuinely now be able to imagine her in my life. It's not just a baby anymore; it's my daughter to be. I was over the moon happy about it.

As for my family, they were happy as well. They were a little shocked and worried that my life would be uprooted, but they were okay. Not so much about me being reckless in the way I thought little of using protection, but they were okay. And for the record, I did ask Andrea if she was on the pill, but I guess I still should have used a condom. I think back to that night and try to see where it went wrong. I guess it was in the way that the birth control pills are not 100% protective and we were the 1%. I don't think about the night in a negative sense anymore, though, because now we were sure that we were having a baby, and it was a girl. That was too real to think about instead of dwelling about the accident.

It happened, and now it was a happy accident.

"Yeah?" Andrea answers to her name, voice soft. We were in bed already, ready to go to sleep. She was on her side, and I was aware of her. Of the way her legs were perfectly aligned with mine but not touching. Of the way her shoulders could press into mine if she turned to face me. I was aware of her because, yes, I was attracted to her, but it was so much more. I knew I had liked Andrea the first time we met, and even though she hated me after that and we fought all the time, it was hard to deny the little feelings I had. Now, she was living in my bedroom, sleeping in my bed, and it was hard for me to not like her all over again.

She was gorgeous. All smiles and bright eyes. I loved to watch her smile, knowing that she was genuinely happy. Or the way she laughs at my jokes even though she pretends to be mad at me. Or the way she actually talks to me without being spiteful with me at anymore. Living together and going through the pregnancy together has made us more kind to each other. I didn't feel as though I had to say something dumb to get her attention. I could be myself around her, but most of all, I saw her real side.

I liked her real side. The real person that comes out when she talks of becoming a mother, the one that comes out when she walks around the house cleaning, or when she is humming when she studies. I see all sides to her, and the more I do, the more I grow fond of it. I'm fond of her. I know it's too early, and I know that our life is way too complicated for me to even have feelings like a teenager, but I do. I like being around her; I like seeing her smile beam at me. I like the way my stomach flutters when she is close to me. It was very childish of me, but... it was true.

"Do you hate me?" I ask.

"Miles."

I turn to her side, and she looks at me. She is close to me, just an inch away from my face. I study her face as I ask, "Do you hate me, Drea?"

"Miles," she whispers again, but I'm desperate to know where her feelings lie.

"Do you still hate me for sleeping with you and ghosting you?" I ask, continuing. "Do you hate me for yelling at you when you told me you were pregnant and then ditching you?" I lower my voice, all of a sudden scared to ask this, even though I have reiterated it a few times. "Do you hate me?"

Andrea presses her lips in a thin line and then looks at me for a moment. She doesn't say anything; she only watches my face. Then, when I'm about to push away and forget this ever happened, she whispers, "I'm starting not to."

"Oh," I say, shocked at her answer. I didn't know where it had lied, but it still shocks me that she genuinely was starting to hate me less.

"Why do you ask?" she asks, looking at me suspiciously.