stranded with one direction. ➳ horan.

Chapter Twenty.

Niall’s POV

I sat there, still gripping onto Peyton’s arm, my gaze not leaving hers. I didn’t know what was going through that mind of hers. I didn’t understand how she couldn’t see that I loved her. Whatever doubts she had needed to vanish, because I didn’t care if I was annoying as fuck, I would keep fighting for her until I died. People say that if you love something, you should set it free. But I feel that you were just too weak to hold onto something. You were told that you need to work hard for the things you want, and I didn’t understand how that didn’t apply to love.

I stared intently at Peyton, trying to figure out what was going to happen next. I still hadn’t let go of her arm, or her eyes. She hadn’t looked away from me, like I thought she would have. I was quite surprised by that. Usually, she avoided gazes, looked everywhere else, so you couldn’t read her eyes. Her eyes were her biggest give away to what she was feeling. People say that your eyes were the window to your soul, and that fit Peyton perfectly. I always knew what she was feeling when I looked into her eyes. Sometimes, like now, she had so many emotions swirling together, that it was hard to accurately describe her true feelings. But then, that meant she was feeling so many things and wasn’t entirely sure which emotion to let win.

I was about to say something, to break the awkward silence that had stretched too far between us, but she beat me to it, with shocking words to me.

“Niall. You don’t love me. There’s no way you can love me. You don’t know me, and you never will. You think you love me, and I wish that could be enough, but it’s not. I don’t want to play this fairytale life with you and then one day, you wake up and realize what I have been seeing. Then I’m the one left with the heart break and confusion on who to be mad at. You, for finally waking up, or for me, believing you never would. I just can’t live with that. And I’m sorry if this isn’t the answer you were looking for, but truth hurts.”

And there it was, her gaze fell. I knew she couldn’t stay strong forever. She had been for too long. But to think that she understood what I was feeling, and that it wasn’t love, hurt. I think I knew my own feelings, but I couldn’t believe that she couldn’t see what the boys had been seeing, never mind the fact that I had not been able to get her off my mind.

“Pey, you may be right.” I paused, only to watch her reaction, and her head snapped up, her hazel eyes, scanning my own. Darting back and forth desperately trying to read what was going on, but I was not that easy.

“If you don’t believe that I am in love with you, you need to at least believe that I’m falling in love with you. You may think I don’t know you, but I have seen parts of you that I doubt any one has ever seen. Your vulnerable side. You told me your deepest secret. Well, one of them anyways. You let your walls crumble for me, and I would be a complete arse if I just ran away after that.

You may regret that, but I don’t. It makes me completely happy. You need to know that I am not going anywhere. Nothing is going to take me from you. Well, except death, but hopefully that won’t happen for at least a good sixty years, so yeah. If you’ll have me, then I will be more than ecstatic to stand by your side for the rest of my life. And learn all your little quirks, and imperfections, and habits, and routines. Because, in all honesty, I wouldn’t want you any other way. You may do things that I am not entirely thrilled about, but I will never force you to stop. I can only be here for you, to help you through whatever life throws at you. I can promise you that.”

Again, she didn’t look away. She stared directly at me, and I swear I saw something magical in her eyes. It was like all the clouds had cleared out of the night sky. My words finally struck a nerve with her. But there was still hesitation in her voice when she spoke, adding to the words she was saying.