Assigned Partners

Chapter 17

Trigger warning: self harm mentions

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Dear Journal,

I can't believe how lucky I am. I never thought I'd have friends here, let alone a girlfriend. But here I am, dating a cheerleader. Normani is great, but I truthfully can't see why she likes me. Surely she can't grasp the fact that I'm not worth it. She knows my secrets, or some of them at least, and she hasn't really judged me. Most people probably would if they knew that I was as fucked up as I am. I hurt myself, I overthink thing, I doubt myself. On that note though, I haven't cut myself in a few days now. It's kind of nice, but at the same time, not doing it makes me feel like something is missing from my life. I know that's not a good thing, but I can't help it.

Admittedly, I've been happier knowing that I have people who care about me here, but it's not enough. I'm still sad. It's just becoming a little easier to hide it I suppose. I can't walk into school without feeling like I need to look over my shoulder every few seconds to check for Austin or Adrienne. It's scary, not knowing when one of them is going to come make my day hell.

It's been a while since either of them did anything. I don't know if it's because I have the girls on my side fully ready to kill them if they do anything, or if it's because they're plotting something worse.

Anyway, it's Monday, and Normani asked me to sit with the other cheerleaders' boyfriends during their practice. Apparently sometimes the coach allows them to sit in and watch. I agreed to go because I could see Normani in action, and I could see Camila. Hopefully it's not too bad.

~Lauren

I shoved my journal into my backpack and got up from my seat in the library. Normani informed me that they were practising outside, so I made my outside to the bleachers. I knew I was where I was supposed to be when I spotted the large group of teenage boys huddled together. I sat down about two feet away from them, setting my backpack down. The practice hadn't started yet, and Normani came running up the bleachers towards me. I wouldn't ever stop loving the way she looked in her uniform.

"Hey babe," she said, offering a hand for me to take.

I took her hand and stood. "Hi."

Normani let go of my hand once I was up on my feet again and she wrapped her arms around my waist, tugging my body close to hers. My arms instinctively went around her neck, and she grinned. The boys were watching us, and I was pretty close to flipping them off. Normani leaned in and pressed her lips to mine, and I happily reciprocated the kiss. A few of the boys whistled at us, and I pulled back, rolling my eyes.

"Don't mind them, and try to enjoy yourself, okay?"

I nodded, pecking her lips again as I heard the coach's whistle blow. "Okay."

She grinned and ran off, and I took my seat again. I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it back out of my face. The boys were quick to shift themselves closer to me, and I scowled.

"So, you're the lucky bitch that scored Normani?" one of them asked me.

"I guess.."

"I never really suspected her to be a dyke, but I have to admit it's hot to see you two together," the guy next to him said.

I just rolled my eyes, not wanting to talk to them. Apparently they still wanted to talk about me though, because they just kept going. I tried to tune it out as best as I could, but it was hard to do.

"Dude, she's the one that Mahone says is vile. Can't believe Cabello broke up with him to defend her."

"She's weird, I used to see her alone all the time."

"At least she's hot, imagine how great their sex must be."

I felt my blood boiling. My hands clenched and unclenched as I tried to calm myself down. It wasn't working. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see who it was, and I frowned.

"Look, if you're going to comment on Normani and I's relationship like your buddies over there have been, please don't bother, it'll just waste both of our time," I told him, and he shook his head.

"I think it's nice that Normani is happy. I've known her and the other girls you hang out with for a while now. I'm Troy," he said, extending a hand for me to shake, which I did.

"Lauren.. Which of them are you watching?" I asked, glancing back towards the practice.

"Tori," he said, gesturing to a pretty blonde over to the right. "But honestly, between you and I, I don't know how much longer it's going to last," he told me.

"Really? If you don't mind me prying a little, why?"

"There's other people. She likes my buddy Carlos over there, and there's someone I like too."

I smiled at him. "Then maybe it's best to end things."

"I know we just met, but could you do me a favour?" he asked, looking at me hopefully.

"I guess..? It depends on what it is," I told him.

"Can you try and find out if Ally has any interest in me? I think she's awesome, but I don't want to be too upfront or anything. So maybe you could drop some hints?"

"Sure. That works. I'll see what I can do," I told him.

I watched the girls on the field and I felt a rush of pride running through me. That was my girlfriend out there, and Normani was good. She was energetic and flexible, and she had every movement down completely.

Troy sat with me for the remainder of the practice. It was kind of nice. It was cool to know that he wanted to sit with me more than those other fuckboys that were watching their girlfriends. Once the practice ended, I walked down the steps of the bleachers towards Normani, who was waiting for me at the bottom. She was sweaty and stuff, but I didn't care. I threw my arms around her tightly, and she hugged me back.

"I liked watching you. You were great," I told her with a grin.

"Thanks babe.. I saw you up there with Troy, he's a good guy. What did you two talk about?" she asked.

"Nothing important. He told me he knew you guys."

Camila jogged over and wrapped her arms around Normani and I.

"Group hug," she said with a chuckle before we all broke apart.

"You were really good, Camz," I told her, and she smiled.

"Thanks Lo. I'm glad you came to watch," she told me. "I'm gonna go shower and head home though, I just want to get out of this uniform and into some sweats," she explained, waving as she ran off.

"I should get going too, babe," I told her. "I told my sister I'd help her with an English paper she has to write," I explained.

"It's cool. My family is going out to dinner tonight, so I should get going too so I can shower and get ready."

She pressed her lips to mine softly, and I kissed her back, feeling those cliche fireworks that people talked about in movies and books. As I pulled back, she tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course," I said. "And if the dinner gets boring, shoot me a text," I told her.

One more quick peck on the lips, and I turned around to head off. She smacked me on the ass and I let out a soft yelp. I wasn't expecting that, but I liked it. I turned and winked at her as I continued to walk. My phone vibrated in my pocket about two minutes later and I sighed, taking it out.

Normani: It meant a lot that you came. None of my old boyfriends ever came to watch but you did.

Normani: You're beautiful by the way. I'm excited to see you tomorrow.

Normani: Oh. Also, don't make plans for Friday night, I want to take you out on a date.

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a/n: I had this chapter written by the end of Monday. Then my computer fucked up and I lost what I had written, so I started over and ended up with this. I hope you liked it, because it's not going to stay too fluffy for long.