MIRAGE OF HEARTSTRINGS

UNFIT OR FIT PUZZLE PIECES 5

Dushasana hear with fascination as the Rajkumari beside him reveal her heart's past making him realise how much trust she is putting on him and for the first time he pondered if that's what his eldest brother felt too when everyone says that they trust him........it is suffocating yet sweet at the same time.

Not to forgot that he does not like sweets.

"-yet we couldn't get married. It was nothing bad, a mutual understanding with no bad influence or situation of any side but still we just couldn't marry-" that hurts to think when you both love each other but still can't live together.

"-and since I was unmarried at this age-" Ah, typical rules of society, huh? "-i was sent so many proposals, suggestions and many thing-" either for political reason or "-though I understood that they were after power-" of course, they were "-and that's why I rejected every single of them but after months I observed the condition of my elders here who became worried-sick for my future.......I felt like a utter failure at that time" A result of too much expectation and subconscious push.

"They are not bad and they did not did anything that I would complain for, infact they did asked many times before confirming the marriage that I ran from today...............he is the Maharaj of Southern Side"

Southern Side means an outreach point of the fragile line between two different world.

"He came out different from what my elders thought or see him to be and........he is already married.......thrice. I would be his concubine if I married him, it won't make much difference when everyone would be in same position but........." But it does not mean that it will not hurt to realise by each passing second that you are farther than the shore you thought you would be.

"I am scared, I am scared that at one point I will lost every person I care, cherish and love.....that I will loose my existence's meaning that I once lost when my parents passed away"

"That's okay" The passaggio voice spoke out, taking the Rajkumari's attention but the onyx eyes kept staring at the river without blinking while the voice echoed in the silent Breeze "it is okay to get scared. I also have felt like this more than few times"

"You have?" The astonishment visible in her voice made dushasana chuckle bitterly as he remembers about the time before few years where he and his brother's were constantly compared with five Devputras whose identity alone was enough to let people know about their defeat beforehand. He don't even remember when he came out of that dark chained tug within his head, maybe after meeting bhrata karna or more like after avyaan took him and Vikarna for an outing where he realised that world has many different things and one does not need to be same as other cause they are different humans for a reason otherwise they would be same person if God wanted them to be same. The only thing he remembers is the time when he hated those five's presence, not to forget that at one point he even thought if  he never existed? or If those five never existed? Would that had made everything alright? At that time he does not know but now he knows that it wouldn't had made any difference and what he got taught was the most valuable thing, which he 'if once mere existence or non-existence could not shake the world then why would one has to worry about world'. One can live to its fullest without even glancing at its surroundings yet they live inside a small bubble and he is sure that he is a lucky who had his bubble bursted, letting him wander around the world which is not at all small and now he could care less about the past, except for the things it taught.

"I have but I learnt something from it"

"............if you don't mind asking, what is it?"

"[CHUCKLE] I would be hypocrite if I mind it. The thing that I learnt-" Dushasana started, turning his head towards the lady who is eagerly waiting for his answer as he smiles saying "-that a person has to make both wrong and right decisions in their life but it does not that defines the person" The look in her eyes, first time made him felt that his past is not an excuse like others say instead it is a life lesson which he hopes from bottom of his heart that she would not face at any cost cause life lessons are only taught by pain,not by happiness and he wishes for her to not feel any pain afterwards.

"Rajkumari! Rajkumar!"

The yell from behind made dushasana turn around to leave but he stops on his track when he hears a quiet question from behind "Would you be angry if I didn't tell them truth?" making him stare into the said Rajkumari, Hidimba's eyes before he replies "I have no reason to get angry-"

"It will drag you more into this mess"

"........again Rajkumari, I will just have to face what I have faced before but it would be a new experience to you. Though I know your decision would not be rash or in hurry, so I will just go with whatever you decide" Cause he has nothing to face new but the lady in front of him has lived her whole life being cherished and lived and the first thing he would wish for face such criticism, taunts and being gossip topic of the day? Never. It might not be new for him but it will be painful for her...........cause he knows how it feels to face such thing.......never good.

Leaving the Rajkumari alone there, dushasana went back to his rest place after greeting everyone as he lay down on his bed only to have an elder enter the place but it does not seem to poke him.

"Dada ji-"

"Tomorrow putri will go to your home Putra"

"................"

"Since you both got married by yourself, your parents would be angry too but if they get angry then tell them that it is us who did your both marriage, okay?"

"But-"

"Not but. You are our family and family remains family in any condition, beside I would be disappointed in myself if I couldn't protect my son...........hope you don't mind me calling you son"

This is what he is afraid of, attachment. Scary word despite him have many people on his side, his eldest brother who never scold him nor forced him to do anything, his bhrata karna who taught him many lessons in life, his bhrata Ekalavya who get him many things like as if he is his spoiled little brother, the man who is older than him but he refuses to call him bhrata Ashwatthama who always becomes victim on his (dushasana's) prank or fun but still never got angry seriously or complained and scold him, his partner in crime Vikarna who never once look at him with mistrust, disappointment or with expectations, his best friend avyaan who showed him a different world outside his dark chained bubble but it does not change the fact that he is still afraid of attachment especially when his own mother never came to meet them in by her own...........

"Of course" And his throat has never felt this much clogged.

**********************