Anime Oneshots! {Accepting requests}(Boyxboy/ Girlxgirl/ boyxgirl)

Hetalia: ~Italy~

[I'm just quite sad right now, so..this comes out. This has a lot of depressing things in it, if you can't handle cutting, depression and what not please don't read.]

[Italy's P.O.V.]

I look out the window watching children run around and laugh, being so..care free as my inner thoughts weigh me down of painful memories of how I used to once be a kid, careless and...free.

I question myself on how I could be like that, because in realization now i'm just a silly Italian man with a stupid life that's gone no where.

It's not going to go anywhere.

Life is pointless, why do I try?

Why do I work my limbs to move in the morning. Why do I create so much energy in the morning just to get out of bed and try to keep my head up all day?

It's pointless to keep trying.

As of now, nothing looks bright. Everything's dark and it's like swimming in a void of sadness.

As of now...I feel like a walking corpse that has had the life sucked out of him, his souls hurt, beaten from the memories.

Here I sit, watching children wear out their energy as I have none.

I stand up and twiddle my thumbs, creating enough courage to actually take a step out of my house and into the rays of sunshine.

I plaster a fake smile, putting on a show for everyone I meet and walk to Mr Austria's house.

Why? I have no idea. But his home brings back memories I try to forget, but in reality want to search more to find out why I want them gone.

I sit in his garden and look at a beautiful woman with brown wavy hair.

Hungary of course.

She seems so nice yet..she doesn't care.

It's an act. Like how I..'smile.'

I study her features as she texts on her phone, completely ignoring my presence, Or maybe even my existence.

No one cares.

They all act, they all act like they care but in reality their all strangers putting on a sympathetic act to slap a bandaid on your wounds.

You cannot put a bandaid on bullet holes.

What I have is bullet hole, that cannot be healed by some mere bandaid.

She probably doesn't even know i'm here. She's so...lost in whatever she's doing.

Phone's are so obnoxious. They hurt people and keep people from each other.

Their death traps. Evil.

Then again why does everyone use them? Because their addictive. She's so lost that i'm alone, depressed and she's the only one I talked to.

I've lost my trust in everyone.

Why.

I knew I shouldn't give my trust out so easily, why was I so stupid?

I pick a rose and smell it, calming myself down and trying to keep myself from breaking out in tears like a fool.

Hungary looks up and smiles, waving. She walks over and puts a hand on my shoulder, her smile getting brighter.

"Italy-" -ZZZTT.-

Hungary puts out a finger and looks at her phone, its not even worth it anymore.

I say goodbye nicely and walk away, sticking the rose in my shirt pocket.

My feet shuffle on the sidewalk and I look at couples holding hands, and smiling. I even see family members laughing and having fun.

I wish that was me.

Romano hates me, he always yells at me and points out what I do wrong, and he acts like i'm a doll. Like I have no heart, no feelings.

But I do. I'm a human too.

I sniffle and wipe my eye, going downtown and sit on a bench.

Alone.

An old man sits next to me, and pats my back, noticing how upset I am.

"Son, don't dwell in your sorrows. Your young, you should be living and thriving.." He speaks with wisdom and a well demeanor, but his words don't mean anything to me.

I nodd, like I actually agree but start crying and the man holds me close.

"Now I barely know you, but you've probably had a hard life. Just remember that something good always happens to the hurt people." I smile.

"Your right. Thank you sir."

I walk along the sidewalk once again, shrugging off the old mans words and the sun sets, creating an orange pink sky.

I head over to a dock on the beach and look down at the dark blueness, wondering the treasures the water kept from me. Maybe even the...-

'Something good always happens to the hurt people'

His words echo through my head like a loud bell thats settling from being struck.

I nod, realizing what the words mean to me and let myself fall into the water.

I fall slowly, almost slow motion and feel the wind sweep from beneath me and feel the air in my hair before-

Wet.

I'm all wet and dark, and I smile realizing i'm underwater.

I
Can't
Even
Swim.

I struggle in the invisible ropes, and then swallow water, slowly sinking to the sand like an anchor.

Screams, car horns and a loud siren is all that filled my ears.

Germany pushed on my chest and gave me CPR, tears running down his cheeks rapidly like a waterfall.

"Dammit- come on! Italy! You can't die. YOU CAN'T!"

My eyes flutter open and I look up at the husky german as his tears fall onto my cheeks.

"Italy!"

He pulls me into his arms and holds me close, leaving me really baffled.

"Oh my god..don't EVER do that again..I thought you died.."

Why does he care? He yells at me all the time and orders me around.

His heart thumps against his chest loudly and he cries more, squeezing my body.

"I love you..please don't ever do that again..please!"

"What?"

"I love you Italy."

It felt like I was struck with a bat, but it was realization.

He does care.

He does, he just..he can't show it.

All this time I thought I had no purpose, I thought I didn't care..but I actually mattered to someone.

Yes, I may not matter to others. I may just be a stupid guy to them.

But to germany...

'Your my world italy.'

The words echoed in my head as I awoke in a hospital bed. Thats right, it didn't happen to long ago when I tried drowning myself.

I looked out the window and watched the rain drop onto the pavement, creating a soothing 'pitter patter' sound.

I inhaled deeply and watched some birds fly by quickly, trying to get away from the rain.

Yes, I'm ignored.

Yes, I'm aware.

But, I don't care.

Someone out there cares for me.

Right?