Après (sequel to Arranged marriage with Adnan)

Chapter 8

After I found out about our miscarriage, we tried to keep things quiet. Adnan let his teammates, our parents, and anyone else we told know about what had happened. I was to upset to talk about it.

The media soon forgot because it was odd for us to delete the picture announcing our baby. And you'd think we would post pictures throughout my pregnancy, but no. That didn't happen.

The past couple months I've been tough on myself. I'm by letting Adnan take the blame for this. He tells me it's no ones fault and that I shouldn't blame anyone. Although, I still feel a little bit responsible.

"Hey, precious," Adnan said, sitting down on the bed beside me.
"Hi..." I mumbled.

I was laying on my side with my knees slightly bent. I rested my head on my hands.

"How are you?" He asked while moving a strand of my hair and kissing me on the forehead.
"Bad."
He laughed, "Come on, Scarlett."

I stayed silent.

"Scarlett," he said. Still no response from me, "I want to see that beautiful smile of yours again.

He tickled me at my sides which made me squirm. I rolled my eyes and gave in, showing him a small smile.

"There's my beautiful girl!" Adnan exclaimed.

I stopped myself from smiling anymore and turned over onto my other side.

I still remember having to break the news to our parents. Adnan was very sad and you could tell when he was talking. He broke down in his mom's arms. However, I stayed out and didn't even move. I didn't shed a single tear. My parents tried talking to me, but I didn't say a word to them or anyone. They felt bad for us, especially our dads who gave us a harder time with it all.

When I got Adnan to tell Rylee, she even cried. She cried for me because she didn't want me to experience that type of pain and she felt so terrible for me.

"Scarlett, I know it hurts, it's hurts me too," Adnan confessed.
"It hurts like hell."

I finally said something. I tried holding back the tears. It didn't work because a few tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry you have to feel this way, Scarlett. I love you so much and I hate seeing you like this."
"I can't help it..."

After the bad news, I couldn't help but feel bad. All I did was cry. It's what I did everyday. And I became pretty good at it. Letting my tears hit the floor. I'd fallen into a depression, a bad routine. It was almost if I didn't care anymore. I shut everyone and everything out.

Most days, I'd stay up late and sleep in. I had a lot of sleepless nights. If find myself being waken up by Adnan telling me I was having a nightmare. I'd cry myself to sleep. The first few times Adban reaches out to me. He eventually stopped when he realized all I wanted was alone time. Then he left me to cry and pretended to be asleep. That's what it has come to. Few words here and there are exchanged between the two of us. Our marriage is failing.

"Scarlett, look at me."

I looked at him.

He kissed me. It was our first real kiss in a while. A little bit of life was given back to me in that moment. We pulled away only for a second to breath. Then, he attacked my lips again.

He pushed me onto my back and crawled on top of me. I tilted my head up to connect my lips with his, but he pushed me down and held my shoulders. He bowed his head and continued to kiss me with passion and lust.

It was getting heated and the kiss became a bit rough. He lifted his shirt off of his head, then went back to kissing me. Moving his lips to my neck, he slid his hands up my shirt. His touch was warm and comforting. He gripped the fabric of my shirt and pulled it up and over my head.

He laid on top of me with his muscular body pinning me down to the bed. He wasn't crushing me though, he made sure.

Somehow, all of this didn't feel right. Maybe I just still wasn't ready... Maybe a few months wasn't enough time for me. It felt so wrong.

He began to plant wet kisses on my stomach when I spoke.

"A- Adnan..."

He hummed and I could feel the vibration on my stomach. I sat up and startled him. He rested his back on the bed and used his elbows to somewhat keep him upright.

"I- I can't do this... I'm sorry. It doesn't feel right."

I got out of the bed and reached for my shirt that lay on the ground. I pulled it back over my head. Adnan spun around and was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I need more time, sorry..."

I walked out of the room leaving a shirtless Adnan to sit on the bed and think about what just happened.