Après (sequel to Arranged marriage with Adnan)

Chapter 9

Honestly, what can I say? I'm worried for us. Our marriage has been kind of rough and shaky since my miscarriage that was two years ago.

I fell into a bad habit of constantly doing nothing. The first year of our marriage was the hardest. The loss of our first child really had an affect on the both of us. I think Adnan handled it better than me, though. Football helped him get a hold of himself, but even that wasn't enough. His playing was sloppy and he wasn't doing too well at United. He'd get benched and wouldn't see a lot of playing time on the field. Other teams were interested, but he was resistant to move away. Plus, he wanted to continue playing for the team.

"Hey, how are you?"
"Scared."
"Why? Don't be." He sat down beside me and held my hand.
"What if it goes terribly wrong like last time? It'll be all my fault again..."
"Scarlett, listen to me, none of it was your fault. It's going to be ok."

At the moment, I was ten weeks pregnant. I had gone through one check up and everything had gone smoothly. The doctor said that the baby was healthy and that there was nothing to worry about. It was hard not to worry... All those "what if" questions kept coming up in my head.

"Are you scared?" I looked up into his eyes.
"Yeah..." He looked down.
"I don't want you to leave."
"I don't want to leave you! I know that you'll worry even though there's nothing that should concern you. I want to be there for you."
"But, you have to go..."
"I know."

Adnan was going to go on loan at PSG for one year and I was not coming along. I had enough to worry about and moving was not something else that I needed. We thought it'd be best if I stayed behind.

"I will back as soon as possible, I love you so much and you know that."
"I love you, too..."
He kissed me on the forehead, "Adnan, what if-"
"Ah!"
"What if-"
"Scarlett."
"Adnan, just listen to me!" He was silent and I sighed, "What if it ends up with another miscarriage..."
"Then I'm coming back for you. I don't care if you don't want to leave Manchester, I need you to be with me. I need to know that you're ok."
"Thank you..."
"Scarlett, you mean the world to me and leaving you for a year is one of the hardest things I've had to do. It breaks my heart having to leave you here, all alone... You call me and text me. Tell me if there's anything wrong and I won't hesitate to come visit. Oh, and if you ever want to come, let me know. I'll book you a flight and meet you at the airport. Everything's going to be ok, don't you worry. I'll take care of it all, just tell me though."

I nodded in agreement. I didn't want Adnan to go alone and I didn't want to stay here alone. But then again, I wanted to stay at home in Manchester.

"Come on, I've got to catch a flight."

We packed up his stuff and loaded it into the back of my red Mini Cooper that Adnan had bought me. I'd drop him off and say "goodbye", then drive back home.

The ride to the airport was silent. Maybe because we didn't know what to say and how to leave each other. One year was a long time. He was leaving me when I was pregnant, which didn't make things easier.

This time with my pregnancy, I wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible just in case something bad happens again. We'd announce it later on.

When we arrived at the airport, we got all of Adnan's stuff inside and ready to go. Then we waited for his time. Adnan wanted our parents and his close friends with him when he left. Both our parents, Fellaini, Ander, and Rylee were there.

Adnan hugged his parents first, then mine. He moved into Fellaini which was quite sad.

"Good luck," he said to Adnan.
"Thanks, I'm going to need it..."
"Ah, nonsense. You'll do great."
"You sure?"
"Of course, see you later, my brother."

They hugged it out.

"See you, bud," Ander said while shaking hands then hugging him.
"Hey, you do good at United ok?"
"Anything for you."
"Rylee," Adnan started, "take care of Scarlett."
"Of course, Adnan."

She hugged him tight then gave him a kiss on each cheek.

When it came to me, I didn't really know what to do... He kind of just walked up to me and we hugged. His arms wrapped around me felt like home. Our embrace lasted for a long time. I breathed in and he smelled so good. I was going to miss Adnan. His flight was called and he let go. He started to walk away, but I reached out to him. He held my hand and continued to walk away. Eventually, our grip on each other's hands loosened and our hands slipped apart. I looked down at my feet realizing that he was going to be gone. I wasn't completely down just yet.

"Adnan!" I yelled.

He suddenly stopped and quickly spun around. I ran up to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to attach our lips one last time. I held the kiss until it was definately time for him to leave. I gave him a weak smile and tried to keep it together. No tears. This was the next step in his career and I should be happy, not sad.

Adnan ran his thumb up and down my cheek. He bent down and softy kissed my lips. Then, he walked away. He left so fast... I think it was a good thing he did that because if we were together for one more second, we could've changed our minds. We both knew it had to be this way. It hurt that Adnan left me so quick, but I knew that it had to be done. It was smart on his part. I think that he couldn't take it anymore. Neither could I. This year was going to be tough...

I whispered, "I love you, Adnan."