the truth about tomorrow ➸ camren

twelve

"So..." Camila took a deep breath, looking at the small cap of pills in her hand. "This is it."

"This is it," Lauren affirmed, pressing her palms into the mattress to keep her body upright. The smaller girl shook the cap, watching as the pills rolled back and forth. Ally leaned against the doorway with an unreadable expression on her face.

"They stink," Camila noted and crinkled her nose in disgust.

"You're stalling," Lauren whispered, glancing over at Ally who was making sure the smaller girl took her pills.

"Can't help it," Camila mumbled. She sat down slowly on the edge of Lauren's bed, continuing to watch the vile pills roll around in the small container. "What if they kill me?"

"Camila," Lauren laughed softly and shook her head. "Don't overthink it. They're supposed to help."

"Nothing that smells this bad could do anything for me," Camila muttered. Lauren just rolled her eyes and handed Camila the water bottle from her bedside table. She noticed the fear flickering in the girl's brown eyes, and forced herself to be tough with her.

"You have to take them, you know that," Lauren whispered, stealing another glance at Ally. The older nurse was thankfully patient enough to wait for Camila to work up her courage. Lauren hadn't been as lucky.

"I know, I just..." Camila sighed in frustration and shook her head. "What if I die in my sleep?"

"You won't," Lauren couldn't help but giggle at the girl's adorable nervousness. "Stop thinking about it and just swallow."

"That's what she said," Camila mumbled under her breath. This earned a gasp from Ally across the room, which caused Lauren to burst into laughter. Camila, however, remained silent.

Truth be told, Camila's mind was currently scattered all over the place. On one hand, she was terrified of the small pills she held in her hand. She didn't know what to expect.

And on the other hand, she had just kissed Lauren. And she had realized how much she'd been wanting to do that. And it terrified her, because just as the girls pulled apart, the knock on the door had signified that it was time for her first dose of chemo. So all she wanted to do was talk to Lauren about what had just happened, but now Ally had a watchful eye on her to make sure she took the pills.

"Are you sure these are safe for human consumption?" Camila crinkled her nose as she addressed Ally. The pills smelled absolutely horrible. They reeked of dead fish and Camila could only imagine how horrible they tasted.

"We have elementary schoolers in the other wing that take these same pills," Ally nodded softly. "They may seem daunting now, but look at the big picture."

"The big picture?" Camila tilted her head to the side.

"Yeah, like... the grand scheme of things. You..." Ally struggled to find the words, causing Lauren to roll her eyes.

"If you don't take them you're only gonna get worse and die," Lauren said bluntly. Camila whipped her head around to look at the girl with wide eyes.

"What? It's the truth. Isn't that what you wanted?" Lauren lifted her shoulder questioningly.

"I guess..." Camila whispered. She brought the cap up to her nose, smelling them once more, which caused her face to distort into one of disgust.

"Hold your nose, tip your head back, and swish the water around in your mouth before you swallow. It makes it easier," Lauren nodded softly, knowing from experience. "Your parents will be here tomorrow, right? No big deal."